Caterina spent her whole life being underlooked and misunderstood.
Hatice spent her whole teenage years chasing a man who loved another.
But Hüsniye became more than a pawn. She became a queen. She conquered the heart of the Ottoman Sultan, the hear...
"The Şehzade is with his harem. He will not receive you," the guard announces with indifferent finality. Although I expected the rejection, a pang of disappointment strikes as I lower my gaze, fighting the sense of humiliation that follows me every night I attempt to see Murad.
Since Nurbanu deemed me ready and sent me to her son, I have waited in vain outside his doors, only to be refused. Every. Single. Night. Murad only permits Safiye into his chambers. He hasn't even laid eyes on me! Not that my appearance would change his mind—Safiye is undeniably beautiful, poised with the allure of a well-polished gem. But he could at least give me a chance; I can hold a conversation, I know my place, and I've even been told I'm quite likeable. Surely, I'm worth more than a passing glance?
"Let's go," Gülbahar nudges me, her expression sympathetic. "I saved some lemon sherbet for you," she adds gently as if this small kindness might dissolve the weight of my embarrassment.
"Thank you," I whisper, tugging my veil forward to hide the flush on my cheeks. The palace floors suddenly hold all my interest, every tile and intricate design offering an escape from my shame.
Saruhan truly is magnificent, with its lush landscapes and graceful architecture—more than I had dreamed. Sometimes, I can only imagine what it might be like in other provinces where the crown princes reside.
"Would you rather go to the harem, with the others?" Gülbahar asks as we walk, breaking into my reverie.
I manage a small smile. "Why not? They won't be surprised to see me back so soon," I sigh, accepting her comforting hand and squeezing it in return.
Contrary to popular belief, I find the harem charming in its own way. The air is filled with the sweet scent of flowers and the warm spices from the kitchens. Despite our competitive nature, the women here have moments of genuine friendship. But even this comfort is tainted by the constant reminder of our past and our present purpose: to please and serve, each of us hoping to be seen, to be chosen.
Once I'm back inside, I change from my red dress into the blue-striped uniform all concubines wear and settle into the familiar, bustling atmosphere of the harem.
"Hatice! Back already?" Raziye teases with a smirk.
"I appreciate your attempt at surprise," I sigh, settling beside her, "but let's be real—the real shock will be if I ever get in."
Gülbahar hands me the dinner portion she saved, along with the lemon sherbet, a comforting sweetness on an otherwise sour night.
Suddenly, a booming announcement fills the harem. "DESTUR! Her Royal Highness, Şah Sultan!"
We all look at each other in confusion, swiftly rising and bowing as the daughter of Selim and Nurbanu strides in, her presence filling the room with authority.
"Hatice Hatun," she calls out when her gaze finds me. "Where is my Valide?"
"With Halime Daye and Canfeda Kalfa, Sultanım," I reply. "I believe they're handling something significant in the harem."
She considers this before humming thoughtfully and turning to the striking girl who accompanied her. "Defne, stay here," she instructs, then departs with her retinue, leaving the girl—Defne—with us.
Curiosity stirs among us as we take in the newcomer: she's beautiful, with wavy brown hair, piercing turquoise eyes, and an air of confidence that radiates despite her initial silence. Our gazes meet, and she gives me a questioning smile.
"Hatice?" she asks as if confirming my identity.
"Yes, Defne. Please, join us. Are you hungry?"
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
She hesitates, then sits beside me. In a near whisper, she murmurs, "Why are you so nice? I'm here, essentially, to take your place."
Gülbahar scoffs softly, answering on my behalf. "She's just naturally kind," she explains, while I blink in surprise. What kind of question was that?
"Besides, she doesn't have a place for you to take, technically," chimes in a girl from another table. "She's just another unseen and unwanted concubine, like the rest of us."
"Thank you, Gülnuş," I mutter sarcastically, but my cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.
"Though, if we're being honest," adds another girl with a hint of amusement, "she's a little different. She's Nurbanu's shadow, after all."
They laugh lightly, the good-natured teasing both amusing and uncomfortable. But I won't let them have the last word. "Laugh if you want," I counter with a smile, "but a mother's will is God's will."
‧͙⁺˚･༓☾ ☽༓･˚⁺‧͙
The night is quiet, and I'm half-asleep when Gülbahar's voice stirs me awake. "Hatice, look!" She gestures to the balcony of the favourite's chambers, where four Aghas are busily moving trunks and delicate ornaments.
"I thought Safiye had her own chambers?" I ask, frowning in the dim light. "She's the mother of a sultana. Doesn't she already have everything she needs?"
"She does," Gülbahar murmurs, eyes narrowed. "Those are harem servants, not hers. Do you know what that means?"
A thrill of realization tingles down my spine. "Someone else has been in the hasoda," I whisper.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
