Conqueror | Murad III

chapter sixty-two

They say you always remember the moment the world ends.

For me, it was a morning like any other. Quiet, warm, golden. The birds were singing. The scent of jasmine floated through the open windows of my chambers. It was, cruelly, a beautiful day.

Until the letter came.

The guard approached slowly—too slowly. His hands trembled. He did not speak. Just held out the parchment like it might kill him to keep it a second longer. I did not recognise the handwriting on the envelope, but the seal... I knew it instantly.

Manisa.
Selim.

My heart fluttered, then sank.

Still, I smiled to myself, telling my breathless lungs, It is fine. Maybe it is just news of his sword ceremony. Or a message from Raziye. Or perhaps... perhaps he wants me to visit him. Allah, what if it is a glorious news like a pregnancy?

But the moment I opened the seal, I knew.

"Your Highness... Şehzade Selim has been found gravely injured. He has not woken since."

I froze. My vision blurred. I tried to read the rest, but the ink ran into itself, meaningless. My hands dropped the letter. I stared at nothing.

"Gravely injured."

"Has not woken."

No, no, no, no...

It could not be. He was my Selim. My son. My sun.

He could not fall from the sky. He was made of light.

They were wrong. They had to be wrong.

I stood. I do not remember telling my legs to move. "Prepare the carriage," I ordered. "Now."

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

I rode like a woman possessed. The road to Manisa was long, but I felt none of it. I did not eat. I did not speak. I sat with my hands pressed to my knees, whispering every prayer I knew under my breath.

"Ya Şafi... Ya Rahim... Ya Allah... let him wake. Let him see me. Let him breathe."

Raziye would be with him. He would not be alone. He would be safe. He had to be.

He had to be.

He was my firstborn joy. My calm. My strength. He was the first to call me "Valide."

The first to teach me what it meant to love until it hurt.

He was the boy who sang off-key, who kissed my hands each morning, who used to climb trees when I was not looking and bring me crushed flowers in his palms.

He was my sun.

And I was not ready for darkness.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

When we arrived at the palace gates, the world did not stop—but mine did. The banner above the doors was draped in black.

My heart seized.

"No," I whispered.

I leapt from the carriage before it had fully stopped. I did not wait for protocol or permission. I ran.

The guards saw me and bowed low, but none of them met my eyes.

Raziye was waiting at the entrance to his chambers. Her face—oh, Allah, her face.

"Where is he?" I cried. "Where is my son?!"

She crumpled to her knees. "I am sorry. I am so sorry, Sultanım—"