Ink and Ashes

#32

*Trigger Warning: Implications and explanation of SA. Please be careful reading.*

Nico's Pov

Nico was only freaking out a little.

Okay a lot.

The police had found the camera's. Nico had tried to forget about those, he didn't like the fact that there was evidence of what happened. If there was no evidence then he could forget it ever did.

But there was. And they told Naomi. And now Naomi had been giving him those terrible pitying eyes since they got back.

"Nico honey," She poked her head into Will's room, where Nico and Will were laying in the bed watching a show, "Do you need anything?"

Nico shrugged, he didn't like how much attention she was suddenly giving him. He also didn't like the fact that she now saw him as a victim.

He'd heard her talking to someone on the phone the other day, probably the detective from before. She'd been talking about how terrible she felt that he'd had to go through what he had, and how she wished she could help him. Nico had almost thrown up, then he did throw up.

"We're fine mom." Will smiled at her, though it looked a little strained, she seemed to get the message and closed the door.

They kept watching the show, Nico didn't remember or truthfully care about the name of it. His mind was too preoccupied.

Will was obviously getting impatient. Nico had caught him with what looked like a helpless look on his face multiple times, and now he'd begun just staring at Nico. Whenever Nico asked about it he said that he was 'just thinking,' but he never said about what. Nico was starting to feel guilty for not letting him know, but he didn't want the way Will looked at him to change, like it had with Naomi.

"Will," Nico cringed at how small his voice sounded, he looked up at his boyfriend, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what Neeks?" Will asked, looking a bit confused.

Nico looked down at his hand, "I know you don't like being left in the dark like this. I want to tell you what's happening, I really do, but I can't. Not yet anyway."

Will frowned, gently using the hand that he had wrapped around Nico to lift his head up. Gently, not like his father used to grab his face and force him to look at stuff. Yet another reason Nico knew he could trust him, yet he still hesitated.

"Nico," Will said softly, his eyes looked hurt, "I'm perfectly fine with being in the dark. Of course I want to know, but that's only because I want to help you. And if being in the dark means helping you then I'm fine with being oblivious my entire life. As long as you're comfortable."

Nico blinked away a tear, he nodded and leaned into Will, resting his head on the boy's shoulder.

"I-I'll tell you." Nico muttered, "It isn't helping, hiding it. And you deserve to know."

Will didn't respond, giving Nico time to process before he started to talk.

*Trigger Warning: Details of SA*

"You know... what my dad did to me," he began quietly. "But there's more. More than just the abuse. And I need to tell you, because you're my boyfriend. I want you to know about me, I don't want you to think I'm pushing you away for no reason."

He swallowed hard, his voice barely steady. "It wasn't just him. He... he brought other people around too. Mostly men, I think, there may have been some women, but few and far between. He took money from them, then he'd let them... use me. And if I tried to resist, or tried to run away, he'd beat me half to death."

He wrapped his arms around himself, as if he could ward off the memories. "I try not to remember, it's hard to think about. But at the beginning it wasn't me. Once Hazel moved in he tried to get her to do it, but she refused. He was going to force her but I stepped in, volunteering so she wouldn't have to. I didn't know what I was doing at the time, but I don't regret it now. As long as Hazel's okay."

He looked up then, meeting his boyfriend's gaze, searching for some sign that he wasn't going to judge him. "That's what the detective found. There was a camera in my fathers room where it happened. She was asking me if I knew any names, and if I didn't know their names if I could identify them by face. I-I shut down when she started asking too much about my father, I can't talk about him right now, especially not concerning this."

*Trigger Warning Over*

Will was staring at him in badly concealed shock, he looked slightly sick. For a moment Nico wondered if he shouldn't have told him, if this was all a mistake. He was about to apologize and get out of the bed, leave and never come back. Then Will squeezed his hand.

"I really want to hug you right now, but I want to make sure that you're okay with it." There were tears gathering in his eyes.

Nico nodded slightly and Will almost instantly embraced him. He didn't squeeze too tight, and Nico appreciated that. But inside he was still slightly freaking out.

"Nico. I hate that this happened to you. I'm sorry about how I reacted at first. I was shocked and angry at your father, and I was feeling my heart break for you all over again. Because you are my heart, and you've been hurt beyond how much anyone should be hurt. You deserve the world, and right now I'm truthfully tempted to go piss on your fathers grave. But you need to know that none of this was your fault, okay?"

Will pulled away slightly, looking Nico in the eyes.

"I'm probably never going to fully understand what you've been through. But I do understand one thing. You're an amazing brother, and the strongest person I know. I don't deserve you as a soulmate, and it pains me that you don't see yourself as I do."

Will pulled him in slightly and kissed him on the forehead, tucking his head under his chin. Nico felt at home, even though tears were starting to flow from his eyes.

"You are the most beautiful, amazing, strong, brave, wonderful, awesome, smart, interesting, hot-"

Nico pulled away causing Will to pause, looking at him with worry in his eyes. Nico didn't like that look on him.

He leaned in and kissed his boyfriend. It may have brought him to the edge of a panic attack after what he'd just explained, but it was worth it.

Will was worth everything.