𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐢𝐦

THIRTY ONE

"She wanted a storm to match her rage."

31

The cold night air hit me like a slap, invigorating yet chilling, a contribution to the stifling darkness I had just escaped. I glanced over my shoulder at the door I had burst through seeing if Reign is following me, but every instinct screaming at me to keep moving, to put distance between me and this nightmare.

Each step a desperate attempt to escape, I threw my heels running barefoot against the pavement. I dart for the shadows, pushing through the pain, fuelled by sheer will. The voices of Amaya's pleads telling me not to do this meet my ears, but it's to late. My hurried breaths mingles with the sounds of the night—distant traffic, rustling leaves—each noise a reminder of freedom, yet a constant reminder that he was still out there.

My heart raced not just from the running but from the fear that he might be close behind. Every rustle of the wind sent shivers down my spine. I run for the main road, it's only hours away from the sun coming up the roads are quiet. The thought of being caught again pushes me forward, each ounce of fear propelling me into a desperate sprint.

I run into a closed off alley, its darkness offering a shield for me to breathe for a moment, suddenly I broke out into a endless ugly cry, screaming for what my life has become. I press my back onto the rough brick in pain and exhaustion pulling at my hair hyperventilating.

I slide down it putting my head between my knees. This didn't have to happen, I didn't have to suffer like this to be somebody's.

I crave for a way out, the thought of losing everyone in my life because of him will leave me stuck and utterly broken with no thoughts or words to speak, so I had to try.

I want to believe that escape is possible, that I still have the courage to run away from the darkness that became my life.

The internal struggle was wearing me out, leaving me to feel like a ghost of the person I once was— lost, defeated and aching for a way to break free.

Though, I never really had the chance to be myself, I'm a shadow of what people wanted me to be. I'm suffocating in a cage of anxiety and depression knowing I didn't get the chance to really be myself.

With a deep breath, I look up at the dark sky matching my energy, gloomy and miserable.

I jump back in fright, "You alright over there?"

I caught sight of a random man watching my emotional episode at the end of the alley, he walks out the shadow to where I can see him properly, they guy had to be at least in his early twenties, he's cute with a baby face kind of cute.

"I noticed you were upset and it's dark out. Are you okay?" His words came off tired like he had taken something.

I reframe from answering his questions.

He shakily chuckles, "It's okay t-trust me I'm Charlie, I was walking by and I saw you run down here like you were escaping something," he jokes but little did he know.

He nods at my continued silence, I carefully watch him, "I was heading back to my place not far from here. Would you like to come? I know I'm a stranger but I think I can help you be at ease no funny business." he genuinely smiles.

It's not safe at all for me to go with a complete stranger, but then again I lost everything, what did I really have to lose anymore? But he could be a serial killer. Then again I am running from a nightmare after all, and besides I've died a long time ago.

He reaches for my hand, his smile so magnetic holding a promise of excitement that a girl would find impossible to resist.

•••

Charlie opens the door, we step into a quiet apartment which smells of every bad decision that comes to mind, but it's almost tidy with a selective amount of furniture.

He becomes shy and fidgety, "Sorry about the mess." I give him a small smile of reassurance. "You can have a seat if you want." I move to sit down, seeing cigarettes, substances and pipes on the table.

"I know you might be wondering why I was walking around at this hour." Charlie nervously laughs itching his neck, I stare at him taking in his innocent look. His features were soft yet striking, with tousled hair that made his eyes warm and inviting.

I clear my throat, "i-it's okay." He shockingly glances at me a smile not leaving his face. "My name is A-Amina."

"W-well Amina would you do me the honour of having some fun with me? It gets a little lonely doing it alone," he laughs.

Charlie's deep husky voice has a rich, resonant quality that carries warmth and intensity. He's holding a rolled up bill to take a line. I stood on the edge of uncertainty, I'm sat before a guy I met only less than a hour ago. I unknowingly forgot every warning they gave me about Reign, I want to hold onto this moment even if its temporary.

There was something about him—his shy but confident demeanour and the way he smiled so thrilling. My palms feel clammy, a seductive whisper promising escape from my depressing life. Despite the nervousness whirling in my entire body, curiosity pulls me closer, urging me to take the leap.

His smile fades, "I probably sound too pushy. I'm sorry-," I stop him from putting the bill down.

With a shaky breath, I feel the adrenaline surge, "I want to," god knows I'm terrified but the idea of being alive again is at my finger tips. I took the bill from him, our fingers brush, sending a questionable spark of electricity through me. I couldn't tell you why that was. Maybe because he's helping me escape my reality in different dark way— a dark way I can enjoy.

The temptation tugs and before I could blink twice I was leaning over to cross a line I never thought I would. The substances hits me, I squeeze my eyes pinching my nose, and the world shifted. Euphoria washes over me, I open my eyes brightening the dim surroundings, I could smell the faint hint of his body cologne that I couldn't smell clearly before.

"How-how is it?" Charlie stuttered nervous to smile again.

I shut my eyes nodding my head smiling, "great." He nods back going in for himself then moving to the kitchen. In that heartbeat of a decision, I feel both scared and alive, teetering on the edge of precipice, ready to dive into the unknown.

Charlie comes back into the living room with a bottle of tequila in hand and a speaker to play music.

He hands me a cup, I instantly throw it back letting the music consume me and the alcohol burn my throat.

I whispered, "Can I take another—?" I want another hit of this good stuff.

He smiles happily nodding, "yes of course." And I did it over and over combining it with alcohol. The bad decisions starting to pile up like the empty bottles littered around me.

"I'm sorry Charlie. It's all my fault." I cry putting my face in my hands.

He furrows his brows, "What is your fault?" He whispered.

I look at him with my cheeks now wet, "Your a dead person," my intoxicated thoughts left my lips.

He looks at the side of my face confused slowly removing the cup from his lips, "w-what?"

"Nothing." I smile, "dance with me."

I feel like dancing, I sniffle as I stumble to stand, Charlie and I dance away on the couch. The dimly lit room felt like a sanctuary, a place where I'm unapologetically myself. I got lost in the alcohol and drugs as if the outside world didn't exist—I'm dancing like Reign doesn't exist.

Apart of me knows this would lead to trouble, but the other half says fuck it. I'm desperate to reclaim my life before it's too late, I'll enjoy the little moments of my "freedom".

•••