DUN DUN DUN(Dandadan x male reader story)

Prelude to the race

Granny Seiko was lazing around watching her favourite bakatono when she looked at the time. 

"Sigh I guess I should help my dumbass granddaughter out. Turbo granny's probably already cursed me through the brat. She'll probably only give us until tonight." Granny seiko said standing up and stretching

She put on her varsity jacket and took her baseball bat before leaving the house in her slippers.

Timeskip

I was on my way back from school, walking alone as I should be. I think back to Momo's attempts to talk to me and sigh.

'it just has to be this way. Its best she thinks I'm a dickhead and stop talking to me' I think before I keep walking

As I was walking down an alleyway back to my house I hear the sound of someone's slippers slapping the ground behind me. Thinking nothing of it I continue walking

"Woah you have some crazy strong power inside of you." A mature female voice said

I turn to see a lady probably in her late 20s who dyed her hair grey and had it done in a pineapple like haircut. Her outfit was pretty odd. A v cut dress and a varsity jacket with a baseball bat.

"Were you talking to me? I think you have the wrong person young lady." I say before turning to walk away

Granny seiko had a satisfied smile on her face and now wanted to help me.

"Well I guess inside you isn't quite right. Its more like crawling on your body." She continues

I just ignore her and keep walking

"sigh your scared of losing something aren't you." 

Her words cause me to stop in her tracks and slowly turn around

"Who are you?" I ask on guard

"You can call me Seiko." She says

"Ok.... Seiko.... what do you want?" I ask

"First can you tell me what you offered in your contract....." She said

How does she know all of this.... is she a real psychic... well then she probably knows the answer so there's no point hiding it

"My emotions." I answer

"I see. Well you're going about this all wrong." Granny seiko says

"What do you mean?" I ask

"hmm... how do I put this...." She says putting her hand on her chin

"Ok let's see your sat on the toilet and a snake comes out and starts going up your ass." She says with a straight face

"Hah?" I ask not knowing if she's serious or not

"What you're doing is letting the snake slowly inch its way up your ass, eventually the whole snake will be in your body." She starts to make a bit more sense

"I'd say the snake is about 30% up your ass right now." She deduces

"Uhuh... so.... can you pull the snake out." I ask

" I can't. I'm pretty sure nobody in this world can. The snake in your ass is way too strong" She bluntly says

Of course. why was I expecting anything, it wasn't just any old demon I was contracted to

"But you can cut your losses." Granny seiko says

"You can live your boring life without anyone around you and you'll probably lose all your emotions by 50."