The Powers That Be Ship Thee Brendan x Wally (Loverivalshipping)

An Azu-rrific Transformation

Me: "Ah, my readers, we are all such beautiful Pokémon perverts, no? But I'm afraid-" *Cuts off with a gasp and puts hand to forehead* "that I cannot allow pedophilia to take place in this story. So my dearest Brendan, Wally, and May shall all be eighteen years old." *Puts face in hands and bursts into tears*

Brendan: *(OnO ;)*

Wally: "A-are you...okay?"

Me: *Squeezes the life out of Wally 'cause he's so cute*

Brendan: *Dials 911*

Me: *Releases unconscious Wally who falls to the floor* "Now, behold! The Powers That Be Ship Thee Brendan x Wally (Loverivalshipping)! And, if you'd like to read an Ash x Gary fanfic, check out my other story, Ash x Gary (Palletshipping)!" *Christens this event with confetti*

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I turn away from the new girl who just moved into the house next to mine. Her name's May, and she's only had her Mudkip that she got from my dad for like five seconds now? And yet she's just beat me. But I've been a trainer way longer than she has! Treecko, and I have been at this for what feels like forever. Why couldn't I win?

I walk away from her quickly, and, when I know I'm out of sight, I go to the river and sit down. I feel so ashamed that I want to cry so I raise my knees and hide my face in them. I hate this. I hate losing, and I hate feeling like a cry baby about it afterwards. Maybe I should just give up on being a trainer? I mean, this is just ripping me apart inside. Besides, there are lots of easier dreams to achieve out there, right? I'll just take up one of them instead.

Huh? What the hell?! Why do I have this massive headache all of a sudden?!

"Gah!" I exclaim out loud, putting my hands to my head or at least I think I do—everything's gone kind of numb but painful, too. My whole body has that pins and needles sensation going on, except for my head. It feels like my skull is going to implode!

"Ah-!" The pain in my brain flares sickeningly, and then the world goes dark.

*Time skip. No, literally, can't you see time skipping down Route 103? While a Poochyena drags Professor Birch off into the woods? (*u*)*

Wha-? What happened? Why do I feel so groggy? Wasn't I just battling May? Did I win?

I grind my teeth in frustration as I come back to reality and remember that I lost to the new girl, May. I look over to my side, searching for a rock or something to throw at Mother Nature. There's a Taillow watching me curiously, and then it suddenly gets this fierce look in its eyes. Oh no, is it gonna attack me?

Yes! I try to bat it away with my hands when it starts pecking at my face, but for some reason, that maneuver sends me to the ground face first. Ah, why am I having trouble getting up?!

I roll around on the ground for a bit, still getting pecked by that Taillow, until I call out in frustration: "Azurill! Azu!" What the fuck?! Is there an Azurill around here, too? I've never seen a place where they could be caught in the wild, though.

After a great deal of struggling and feeling like my butt's gotten bigger or something, I finally make my way to my feet...but I'm like only a foot off the ground! What the hell?! "Azurill!" Holy Miltank, was that me?!

I sort of waddle over to the nearby river and search for my reflection. Berry fertilizer on a pokéblock! I'm an Azurill! No, no, no, Brendan! That's not possible! You're missing something here! Uhh, that's it! Try...pinching yourself? But I don't have any hands! I'm just a blue blob with two stubs for feet and a tail that's as big as the rest of my body!