Burning Love ~ Billy Hargrove ( +18)

Chapter 20

Maddie's POV

After helping Max with her homework, I went to bed a bundle of nerves, not even recognizing myself. I had always been able to handle any situation. I had always been a woman with clear ideas ever since I started developing a "more adult" mindset.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, I felt like, for a moment, I lost complete control over everything. I let the emotions I had buried deep down for practically my whole life take over me. For a moment, I felt like someone really wanted to get to know me, like Steve was a different guy, only to turn out to be just like the rest and see me as nothing but a bitch. That, for some reason, hurt like a knife. Even though he later apologized, and I'm convinced his apology was sincere, it still hurt.

Steve was charming, kind, considerate, sensitive, sweet. He was everything the type of men I usually liked were not. And yet, I was almost sure I was starting to feel something special for him.

To make matters worse, there was Billy. It shouldn't be this way, but every time I see him with a girl, I feel a damn stab of jealousy in my chest. Because yes, I'm not an idiot, it's fucking jealousy. And that's wrong, very wrong. When did I start having those kinds of feelings for Billy? He's my damn stepbrother. I'm sure that if anyone found out we slept together, we'd be heading straight to jail. Besides, I've hated Billy my whole damn life. He's egotistical, narcissistic, conceited, an asshole, an idiot... And yet, I'm still fucking attracted to him every time he gets too close to me.

And to top off the shitty end to my day, there was Max. They say curiosity killed the cat, and Max's damn curiosity almost killed me. Not only did he catch me with Steve, which was also my fault – who the hell thinks it's a good idea to get heated up on the hood of a car in the middle of the street? – but even worse, because he left me all hot and bothered after he regretted it.

Not to mention that if Max had come out two seconds later from her room, I don't know what kind of compromising situation she would have found Billy and me in. And after that, there would have been no excuse or way out.

And now comes the fun part, the situation I thought I'd never be in: I can't resist Billy, and I know it. Why, of all the men in the world, is he the only one I want to repeat things with? Well, not the only one, because here comes the other part of the damn dilemma. Deep down, I knew part of my anger toward Steve came from being angry at myself. Angry because I knew from the first moment that I should've put a stop to it. Angry because he didn't deserve someone like me. Angry because I was starting to feel something special for him but I knew I couldn't give him what he wanted. I've never loved anyone, and I never will.

Until now. You start to care, in your own way, about Steve and Billy. The first time you feel something in your whole damn life, and it has to be for two men who are so fucking different? And let me tell you, this is not going to end well.

                               ———————-

The damn alarm clock started ringing loudly. I pulled my left hand out from under the covers and swatted it off. I cursed. I cursed over and over. Today, I had less desire than ever to go to school. I was sure I would have to put up with Sandra glued to Billy's ass, and I also had no desire to see Steve after what happened yesterday.But I had no choice, if I wanted to move on and get out of this town, I had to pass the course.

I reluctantly got up, still rubbing my eyes, a bit sleepy, and opened the door to my room. As soon as I stepped into the hallway, I bumped into a sturdy body.

"Bfff." I managed to say. The only one with such a big body in this house was Billy.

"Watch where you're going, redhead." he grumbled.