Not Us 3: Odette & Ford

Chapter 25

Odette's POV

I could see that Ford was not in the headspace to do anything or go anywhere, so I packed up the kids' stuff and left the house. I wanted to give him a day to calm down. I had a plan to come back tonight and check on him. As soon as I walked out, I heard the most heart-wrenching screams, I stood there, hand on the door, just listening to him with tears running down my face.

My heart was breaking for him.

I don't know how he's feeling or what he's going to do. I'm worried. I know I'll most likely be watching the house all day or at least trying to distract myself with the kids all day until after bedtime when I can go talk to him. This is insane.

His own Mom.

I walked into Jac's house and saw her and Mom hugging, both of them with tears down their faces. I'm immediately on alert.

"What's going on? Is everyone okay?"

"I'm pregnant." I dropped all the bags.

"AH!" I scream running over to her, arms raised, and hug her. I step back and start jumping up and down. "Congrats sis! I'm so excited! How many this time?"

"One. We checked yesterday. Just. One. Thank god," Jac said looking exhausted.

"What can I do to help?"

"Well, I'm only ten weeks, but would we be able to start a meal list and schedule for close to delivery?" I nodded and so did Mom. I walked down to Jac's office and grabbed a pad of paper and her planner. We both had one, but mine was at the house and I wanted to give Ford all the time he needed to process everything. We flipped to her due date, and holy crap on a cracker. These kids are all going to have birthdays, one after another if this baby comes early. Thankfully she's not due til July, but her birthday is in Spring. Briggs is the end of Summer. Mine is next month. Lord.

"I'm due in the middle of July. If I make it that far. They think I could go early again because of what happened with the twins." I nodded. My OB had told me also that there was a chance of me going early again if I had more kids. As of now? That was looking like a big fat no.

We spent the next few hours making a list of all the meals she'd like, that the kids liked. We wrote in pencil because that was probably going to change. We also set up a schedule for who would either stay with the kids, or if they'd come to stay with us, or my parents. We did leave a few meals and days blank so that way Briggs's Dad and stepmom could help out also. She promised to tell them on Christmas and get them in on the schedule.

Briggs, Dad, Ford's Dad, Brian, and the kids all come barreling in the dining room from either the game room, playroom, or movie room, ready for food. We decide easy is best, and sandwiches are made, with all the fixin's for us grown-ups. The kids are satisfied with PB&J and either cheese balls, veggie straws, or Sun Chips. I peek out the back door, looking over at the house, and it's dark. I don't see a single light on. I nagging worry creeps up my back.

"Mommy?" I jump a little at the name. Archie giggled up at me. "I got you!" he said in his little sing-song voice, smiling up at me.

"What's up, buddy?" I asked as I crouched down to his level. I brushed his hair out of his eyes. It would be time for haircuts for the boys soon. Their hair was also so thick if we didn't stay on top of it, it looked like helmets on their little heads.

"Where Daddy?" His big eyes were curious, as he stood on one foot, twirling the other one and playing with his fingers. I could tell he was nervous. He'd really gotten attached to Ford the last few months.

"At the house. He needs time to get his emotions out," I looked at him to see if he understood. I was met with a head tilt. "He's sad and working through a lot of stuff right now."

"Why he sad?" His head tilted further as he came over and wrapped his little arms around my neck and shoulders.

"His Mommy got mad at him for something he had to do," I said quieter as I rubbed his back, still crouched down. I could feel him trying to climb into my lap. Silly boy.

"Why?" Oh, not this phase. I was hoping we could get away without it. I patted his back so he'd know to let me go so I could talk to him, and look him in the eyes. He knew our signals well by now.

"I don't know, bud. I'm not her. I'm your Mommy." I looked into his eyes and smiled. Loving these two was so easy. Loving Sutton was easy. Loving Ford was easy, also, when he'd let me in.

"I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too my big boy. Ready for jammies and movie night?" I asked standing up and stretching my aching legs out. That got squeals from him as he ran off to the stairs so we could get ready.

After this, I'm going to see him.

We need to talk about this. I need him to know I'm here. Always.

Ford's POV

As soon as I ended the video diary and hit send, I walked down the hall to our room. I grabbed the flash drive that had the video of them coming in and rescuing me. I grabbed the folder my former CO also gave me and I flipped through it once more before grabbing my backpack and putting all of it in there. I grabbed my tape recorder because I was going to record this conversation. I was going to make sure my ass was covered because though she looks like it, that's not my mother. I grabbed my tablet and made sure that I remembered my hot spot access so I could show her my video diaries of before I found Odette and the kids to after I found Odette and the kids. I wanted her to see the change in me. the change in everything I ever believed and how I was feeling. I wanted her to know.

She needed to know how badly she hurt me.

But she also needed to see how hard I worked to get to where I am now. Where I have a family that loves me. And I'm learning to love myself again and love that I'm still alive. I have my hard days, but I'm working so hard to be better.

Forty-five minutes after Odette left, I called her.

"Hello?" she said, sounding irritated. Seriously Who the fuck was this woman?

"What hotel are you staying at?" I asked, if she was going to be curt, then I would too. Energy matching like Odette is always saying.

"Why should I tell you?" She tried sounding...I don't know what she was going for here. Hurt? Upset?

"Because you need to understand some shit. And I'm coming to give you a crash course on it." I was getting fucking irritated now. Like just who in the actual fuck does she think she is? What right does she have to be a bitch after how she's treated my fucking family?!

"I don't feel like dealing with this tonight, Ford. You were very hurtful. Telling me I'm not your mother." She sighed heavily. I was fuming.

Fucking. Fuming.

"Because you're not," I said, disgust and anguish falling from my lips with every word, "This is not who I sent that letter to, two years ago. This is not the same woman who would make a huge deal about family, happiness, and togetherness at the holidays. I need to show you I'm not the same little boy you have in your mind."

Silence.

"If you don't understand after this, then we're done. I need one more chance to get you to understand," I said, determined.

"The Hilton. I'll be waiting in the lobby." She said dryly.

"See you in twenty minutes." I hung up. Not giving her a chance to reply. 

The drive over was a complete fucking blur. I don't remember a single detail. I remember hanging up the phone and then pulling into this parking space and the car was off. I know this is part of PTS. My brain is trying to protect me from whatever shit is about to happen. I took a deep breath, willing myself to stay present and not shut down. I never remembered what happened when I shut down. I also prayed I wouldn't have a panic attack in front of her.

Fuck. Maybe coming here by myself wasn't the smartest of moves. Shit.

I took another deep breath and got out of the car, grabbing my backpack from the passenger seat.

Here we go.