Every night before I go to bed,
my dad comes in my doorway and tells me good night and that he loves me.
I tell him the same.
But on the nights that he forgets,
I go to his door, and knock,
but he never answers,
so I just whisper good night and go back to my room.
Every night I turn off the lights
always leaving the fan on,
it's sort of noisey.
Then I put my ear buds in, and turn on my music,
or Skype my boyfriend.
Then I listen to my music for a while or hang up on Skype
then I close my eyes.
That's when it goes bad.
My brain starts spinning
like a storm cloud forming a tornado.
And my eyes start with the rain,
and my mouth screams out the sirens,
and my arms and legs start the earthquake.
And I'm just a disaster.
But the thing is,
Not a single person hears..
I eventually fall asleep
and I wake up with tear stained cheeks,
still shaking,
and I just go wash my face,
and make myself presentable,
along with a plastered on plastic smile
and go on with my day,
only to do the same thing at night.
And some might wonder,
Why?
Why does she break down each night like that?
Why doesn't she ask for help?
I don't really have an answer...
I don't know why I have a problem...
I don't know why I don't ask for help...
