𝐺𝐼𝑆𝐸𝐿𝐿𝐸

17| 𝑉 𝑂 𝑌 𝐸 𝑈 𝑅

I've been trying to make the chapters consistently longer lol
THANK YOU FOR 4k BTW MWAH

CHAPTER 17

"but I am very homesick for arms have never held me."

<3

A week.

It had been one whole week since I last saw or spoke with Vincent. This week was the longest I had gone without speaking to him since I got back from Paris.

Technically it was the second longest, the first being the first 22 years of my life, aside from a few interactions here and there.

However, unlike the first time, when I would be relieved to be out of his commanding presence, I was disappointed. Maybe even a little sad. In the weeks we had spent together I had grown accustomed to him and now I think I missed him.

I anxiously waited for another text from him, desperately wanting to see the convolutedly written message formatted like an email. The anxiousness of waiting for my phone to buzz was driving me insane so I flipped the ringer on silent. However this only led to me checking my phone every twenty seconds.

I was in the process of doing that right now and as I stared at the hopelessly empty phone in my hand, I considered the possibility that I might have a problem for being attracted to unattainable men.

I sighed.

I need a hobby.

Forcing myself to throw my phone on my bed and try to focus on something, anything, else, I began to brainstorm the things I could do to keep myself distracted. I thought about going for a walk or a run but it was 1 a.m. and freezing outside.

What about a movie?

Yeah.

Yeah, that sounds nice. A nice movie, candle light, and some snacks.

I nodded to myself before plopping back down my bed and switching on the TV that was in my room. Moments later, I was cozied up in bed with a random rom-com playing. It a perfect night for me and yet despite my comfortable surroundings, my stomach kept tightening.

I felt my eyebrows furrow and my mouth form a small frown without my trying, the thoughts in my head so loud they had to express themselves somehow since I wouldn't speak.

But why hasn't he said anything?

I bit my lip, replaying the last moments with him in my head. In between me fumbling to give him his handkerchief back and his curt goodbye, I didn't find anything out of the ordinary. Nothing that said 'i'm not speaking to you ever again.'

Breathing in deeply, I tried to relax.

I failed.

I realized my leg was bouncing and I pushed my blankets off me, frustrated I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about it. It was genuinely upsetting how he consumed my every thought, knowing he was not thinking of me.