Teach Me How To Love

15~

I stared at the styrofoam cup in my hands. We had been in the cafeteria for an hour now and neither of us has said a word.

Nothing.

"So." I said.

Nothing.

"We really need to figure this out." I tried again.

Nothing.

"Caleb!" I snapped. His eyes snapped to mine and he sighed.

"What do you expect me to say?" He mumbled.

"I don't know... Something... Anything!"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I never finished packing."

"What?" My eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't want to move out."

"Caleb..." I trailed off.

"What Bella? You said we needed to talk. Talk about what? About how Madi thinks I'm her father? Or about you hiding your feelings?" He snapped. I stared at him. Okay, didn't expect that at all.

"You still need to move, but I can't keep Madi away from you when she obviously loves you so much. You can see her whenever you want to but you will not be living with us."

Caleb nodded and left. There. That's what I want. It'll keep Madi happy and keep him away from me. Problem solved.

*************************************

Problem not solved. Problem far from solved.

A month after I made the agreement with Caleb I regretted it. I still saw him everyday at school.

I had to get another job. I've barely had any time with Madi.

Occasionally I take sick days and Madi and I have a mommy daughter day, but it's rare.

Madi sees Caleb at least once a week; more if I have to work. We never talk.

So, when Caleb called me to talk after class I was more than surprised.

"When are you bringing Madi over again?" Oh.

"Um, I have to work tonight so if you want you can babysit her." I suggested. He sighed and looked at me.

"You're working a lot lately." He crossed his arms and I looked down at my shoes, unable to look in his eyes.

I didn't speak and he continued.

"I'll be over at two." I nodded. I had to be at work by three so that's perfect; not that I'd tell him that.

After sending my mother home and frantically cleaning the apartment, Madi and I waited for Caleb.

I found it simpler to have people babysit her here so she wouldn't have to fall asleep in a different bed.

Not that Caleb's house was 'different' at this point.

There was a knock at the door; I knew it was Caleb because of the 'tune' he always used when knocking. It got Madi excited everytime.

"Madi, will you get the door, sweety?" I continued to wash the dishes and half smiled when I head Madi giggle loudly at the door.

"Mommy, look!" Madi was holding a small bouquet of roses in her hand. There were five of them; three white, and two pink.

I smiled at her. "They're beautiful."

"For you." I looked up to see Caleb, scratching his neck nervously. He was holding a small bouquet- like Madi's- except these where red and white roses.

"I know I probably shouldn't have, but I saw the red and the lady at the booth said..." He trailed off. "I'm sorry."

I couldn't breath. My cheeks were hot and I was afraid I was going to break down any second.

So, instead of fighting my impulses, I let my body move on its own.

My arms wound around Caleb's neck and I pulled him into me. For a while he did nothing but soon his arms wrapped tightly around my torso.

I felt so safe in his arms. I always have. That might just be what scares me the most about him. He makes me feel safe, and secure. I know that something will break us apart one day and I also know that if that were to happen Id be a complete mess...

I mean, what man takes in someone else's daughter? Honestly, sometimes I forget that he's not Madi's real father. He loves her just as much though.

I pulled away from Caleb and discreetly wiped away a small tear. Caleb still held me and I blushed furiously.

I stepped away, taking the roses, and smiling.

"Thank you." I quickly grabbed two vases for our flowers and left Madi and Caleb in the kitchen. I really need to get my head straightened out.

"Bella?" I squealed as I whipped my head around. Caleb was smirking and leaning against my door frame. At least I was clothed this time.

"Bella, I'm really sorry." He whispered, putting a hand on my cheek. When did he get so close?

"You..." I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

My eyes closed as he rested his head against mine.

"I love you, Bella."

I could tell he was leaning towards me and I opened my eyes.

"Caleb..." I whispered, pushing him away slightly. "I can't do this." A tear escaped my eyes and I looked down. "I don't even know what love is, how can you expect me to love you back?" I didn't want to hurt him...

Caleb sighed, grabbing my chin and forcing me to face him.

"Love is falling." He said. "Love is falling and not being afraid to hit the ground because you know someone will always be there to catch you." He stroked my cheek gently. "Let me catch you, Bella." He whispered before crashing his lips to mine.