Starsong

Scene 20

{--} Heros {--}

          This is all my fault.

          "Heros..." His mother had said the night before, still clearly shaken. She didn't sound angry. Just scared and drained. And that had made Heros feel worse than any yelling could. "Why would you take them out there? Without telling me or their guardian? What would have happened if those people had shot you? Your brother? The other kids?"

          Heros had rubbed his arm, blinking fast to keep himself from crying, one hand gripping the book. "I don't know. I-- I didn't know that it would be dangerous, I just thought-- I just wanted to know. I recognized the symbol on her flute and--" His voice broke off. No more words came, nothing more to say.

          His mom sighed shakily, "This is... too far, Heros. You could have died!" Her voice cracked into a sob, and she had started crying right then and there, long sobs of heartbreaking, scared grief for what could have happened. Heros had felt his chest bloom in a deep, rare ache, the kind he only felt when his father left for another journey.

          He had pressed into her, hugging her tightly, burying his face in her shoulder like a little kid, starting to cry as well.

          "I'm sorry." He had gasped through his tears, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-- I'm sorry..."

          I'm sorry.

          Heros had laid numbly in bed after that, staring up at the dark ceiling. This was all his fault-- even more than his mother knew. He was the one who had told Tok to get rid of his hairpiece. That's how the siren hunters had found him. Only Tok knew. They were the only two that knew the truth.

          He had invited them out to the stone.

          He had set everything up for the hunters to find them.

          He had turned the hourglass that could have killed his mother.

          This is all my fault.

          Heros looked at Tok now, as they were all walking to the village square-- Tok hadn't looked at him since they'd woken up. Not over breakfast, not as Lilith went over a plan to find a cartographer in the village square, not as they started walking. Even now, he was riding on Ren's back, not talking, eyes averted. Was Tok upset with him?

          The path opened up into a wide space filled with people walking around, vendors selling food they had cooked, clothes they had made. Lilith stepped forward, asking people around about if any cartographers had passed through. Heros barely listened. He just kept staring at Tok. Should he say something? Apologize for having him throw away his hairpiece?

          Should he ask?

          Heros's stomachs tied up in knots as he thought about it-- Missing something, little prince?

          Nobody else seemed to think much of it, but Heros couldn't get it out of his head. He would think it was just a mocking term of endearment if it wasn't for the fact that he'd seen that hairpiece so close, touched it with his own fingers. It was so ornate, so high-quality. He had assumed it was just a family heirloom-- Tok had said he'd gotten it from his mother. But it kept nagging at Heros, the same curiosity that had gotten him into so much trouble, telling him that it was more.

          That Tok was lying about more than being an orphan.

          But what right did he have to confront him about it? After Tok had already confided in him about his first secret? After Heros had nearly gotten everyone killed?