The Heart Crusher (The Affluents Series: Pastel Hearts Playbook #1)

Chapter 6

Solasta Hartz

"Taray, fancy-fancy pala apartment mo eh! Halatang yamanin!" Ika ni Magnus habang tinatanggal 'yung sapatos niya, agad naman siyang binatukan ni Nancy.

"Ang ingay mo, nakakahiya..." Ani pa nito at nauna na sa pagpasok, pa tingin tingin naman si Monique sa paligid.

"Come and sit down, I'll prepare something in the kitchen..."

Agad naman silang nagtungo sa sala namin, nakita ko pa kung paano kinuha ni Magnus ang remote saka namili sila ng palabas na papanoorin.

"Ano ba, ang aga-aga horror agad?" Ika pa ni Nancy na akmang aagawin ang remote kay Magnus, pero mahigpit ang pagkakakapit niya rito kaya hindi niya maagaw.

"Ikaw nga gusto mo drama, iyak-iyakan, mahal-mahalan! Pinapahalata mo na single ka, Nans!" Sabat naman ni Magnus, itong dalawang talagang 'to, kahit saan ay nag aaway, parang mag-asawa.

"Mga documentary nalang, oara may matutunan naman tayo kahit kaunti." Suggest ni Monique, agad namang sumimangot si Magnus sa suggestion niya.

"Bebs, hindi ko naman minamaliit yung taste mo pero ang boring, baka makatulog ako niyan."

"Mabuti nga iyon para hindi maingay dito."

"Nans, nakakailan kana ah! Palibhasa walang love life, kaya palaging bitter, madami pa ang lalaki hoy. Kaunting paalala, ang ampalaya ulam, hindi ugali."

"Gago ka, bakit ikaw? May love life ka? Wala rin, makapagsalita 'to parang ang daming lalaki sa mundo, kung madami ba dadagdag ka pa?"

"Basta, horror!"

"Gusto ko documentary!"

"Romance!"

Bumalik ako sa living room dala-dala ang tray, laman nito ang mga pagkain na binili ko pa nung nakaraan nang sabihin nila na bibisita sila sa apartment.

"Cake?" Aya ko sa kanila, natigil naman sila af tumingin sa dala ko, maya-maya pa ay nagsalita si Magnus, nakatingin pa rin ito sa TV.

"Cake? Anong genre ba kasi 'yan—"

"Tanga! Cake kasi, ito oh! Cake, C-A-K-E, cake!" Ani pa ni Nancy habang itinuturo ang cake sa coffee table.

"Oh... edi sorry na! Pahingi!"

Nagkuwentuhan kami at nanood ng pelikula, action ang genre para walang mag-away. Sa kalagitnaan ng bonding namin ay bumukas ang pinto, kasabay nito ang pagpasok ni Caspian na mukhang galing pa sa isang practice session na palagi nilang ginagawa para mas mag improve 'yung grades nila.

"Oh, andito na pala 'yung fiancé mo na butihin." Bulong pa ni Nancy na agad namang pinatahimik ni Magnus.

"Bibig mo talaga, gaga." Pigil nito sa kaibigan namin, halatang nainis si Caspian sa narinig niya. Pero nung tumingin siya kay Monique ay parang nagbago ang lahat, para bang hindi niya akalain na magkikita sila.

Nakwento ko naman na sa kanya ang pagbisita nila ngayon, tumango naman siya pagkatapos niyang mag-iwan ng masakit na salita sa akin. Pero pumayag naman siya, parang gulat na gulat pa siya kaya naman agad akong sumabat.

"Ah, I told you they were visiting... right?"

Ngunit hindi siya sumagot at tumingin lang sa akin bago pumasok sa kwarto niya walang anumang sinasabi.

"Anong problema niya? Ayaw niya bang nandito kami?" Tanong ni Nancy sa akin ata agad naman akong umiling, pinanonood ko pa kung paano isara ni Caspian ang pinto ng kwarto niya.

"No, he nodded when I asked for his permission."

"Bakit naman kailangan mo ng permission sa kanya? Bahay mo rin naman 'to, Solasta. Masyado kang mabait para ipakasal sa tulad niya."

"Nans, tama na 'yan."

"Totoo naman, bakit sa lahat ng lalaki sa mundo kay Caspian pa talaga? Hindi naman close 'yung parents nila."

That night was a long one. I saw my friends go home and wished them a safe travel as I got back inside in my apartment to wash everything and tidy up the house. Ayaw ko kasing kumuha ng house keeper, I need to be competent enough para maging asawa ni Caspian. Hindi ako aasa sa iba, kahit na alam kong hindi niya pinapansin ang mga effort ko, gagawin ko pa rin.

My hair was still wet from when I took a shower, I sat on the edge of my bed as I looked at the mess on my room. Hindi pa rin ako tapos mag unpack ng mga gamit ko, ang dami kasing nangyayari at madaming pinapagawa ng mga teachers sa school. Tao lang ako, hindi ko syempre kayang pagsabayin ang mga 'yan.

I grabbed my blowdryer as I looked at my owm reflection while drying my hair, unknowingly clenching my fist as I remembered how Caspian looked at Monique earlier and the day where we ate together.

His eyes softened like it never did before, like Monique was the only thing that mattered in his eyes. It sparkled like it was bathing in fascination and amusement, admiring the sight before him. Thinking about it made me bit my lip in frustration, thinking that I, his own fiancé and soon to be wife in the future, can never make him look at me that way.

Instead, his gazes and words are as cold as ice, as if I'm the most disgusting person in the world. He made me feel like I'm nobody even when I'm literally his fiancé, maybe not by his own choice nor mine, but on the choice of our parents. It still stung. Knowing how I will never be good enough no matter how I tried, no matter how much effort I put into this relationship.

I will never be good enough, not for him, not for anyone.

Rational people would maybe just give up, but for some reason I can't. Hindi ko kayang may ma disappoint na naman akong tao, hindi ko kayang makita ko na naman ang mga matang kinakatakutan ko sa lahat.

Takot ako at pagod, pero hindi ko tatalikuran ang pinili ko para sa sarili ko.

I layed on my bed after drying my hair, feeling it's soft sheets and comfort, the warmth I rarely feel these days. Or have I ever felt that way my entire life? I can't seem to recall...

I closed my eyes and hoped for the best, even though it's hard. I can do it, because I'm Solasta. I would never let others down and myself, even if hurts, no matter how many times I hear Caspian's insults, I need to keep going.

"Solasta, you should be grateful for what you have and focus on improving and putting more effort rather than your failures and pain. That way, you can be happy and maybe others will too..."

I muttered to myself as I slowly closed my eyes and started to sink into the comfort of my bed, letting my senses sleep and take away my stress and pain just for this night. This long night that seemed to be for eternity.

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DISCLAIMER
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This is a work of fiction. Any characters, places, events, businesses and incidents are the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious way or manner. Any resemblance of the actual person, dead or alive and actual events or actual places are purely coincidental and doesn't mean to offend anyone.

Most of the content in this story are fiction and any other places doesn't exist in the real world so as the businesses. I apologize if the characters of the stories has the same name as your dead love ones, again this is a work fiction and all resemblance in the real world are completely coincidental and doesn't mean to offend anyone.