When We Fell In Love

Chapter 19: Desires

Dorcas would have liked to live in that Room forever. She did not need the lessons, the professors, or the judgment of the other students; having Marlene with her was all she needed. Hearing Marlene ask her to be her girlfriend had been surreal. She still struggled to believe it, and she could not quite understand how they had come to be here.

Every evening, when she was forced to return to that hovel of a dorm room she shared with absolutely mean and unpleasant girls, she cursed the fact that she was a Slytherin and often wondered if the Sorting Hat had made a mistake that day so many years ago. But then she would think about how her own sense of self-preservation had kept her from revealing her sexuality even to the people closest to her, and it struck her as a very Slytherin trait. So she would smile to herself. How she had ended up being so close to the noblest and most loyal people she knew was still an unsolved mystery to her.

She was happy that her friend group had grown in this way: they were a team, and they looked out for each other. Louis, in particular, had become overly protective of her, always worried that Marlene might leave her hurt and heartbroken. Every time, Dorcas would reassure him that her heart was safe and tell him to worry about Harry instead, who recently seemed particularly detached and wrapped up in his thoughts. Louis would shrug it off, saying they were all under stress and that everything was going great, although Dorcas could tell he was not convinced at all.

The one who had been noticeably absent on their Sunday afternoons was Regulus, who had practically vanished after the Christmas holidays. Dorcas would occasionally catch a glimpse of him in the Common Room or in some hallway, but he always managed to avoid or ignore her. She was worried because he looked increasingly pale, with dark circles under his eyes that seemed to get darker each time, probably from lack of sleep. He did not seem happy, even though he was always accompanied by his loyal clique and a girl Dorcas had found out was Rosier's sister.

"Remus, hey!" Dorcas approached her friend that Sunday and plopped down on the couch next to him. "How is it that you're always the first one here?"

"Meadowes!" he replied. "You know I don't have much of a social life or any particular commitments, and this place really helps me concentrate on my studies."

"What about the study group?"

"Oh, that's different. Here, I focus on my own studies, not everyone else's."

"I don't know how you do it."

"Mary told me the same thing."

"Well, it's true." Dorcas took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I'm worried about Regulus."

Remus set down the quill he was holding and closed the book he had been consulting.

"I am too. He hasn't come here in weeks and keeps ignoring me. The only time we speak is during the study group, and even then, if I try to express my concern, he leaves."

"Do you think something happened over the holidays?"

"All I know is that his family is... peculiar." Remus seemed to weigh something in his head before continuing. "It's the reason Sirius can't stand them and finds any excuse not to spend time with them."

"Oh, I didn't realize things were that serious," replied Dorcas, thoughtfully.

The door to the Room of Requirement opened, and Sirius and James made their grand entrance. By now, both of them had become regulars, even though Sirius insisted that he was there only to support his friends. Dorcas did not believe him for a second, but she said nothing. He would come to accept himself in his own time and in his own way; he did not need her to prod him more than necessary. Remus always watched him warily and constantly on the defensive.