in the deep sky's Abyss

_12_

 12

casual post suicide attempt wakeup

_____.

Alex was in a state of utter confusion, he should be dead, atleast that was the intention. But, he wasn't dead, he was somewhere bright. The room became clearer in his vision. A single bed hospital room, where he was laying on the bed, breathing steadily as a lone doctor watched over him.

The doctor was young, and wearing the IAF* badge. The doctor looked ever so slightly worried for the sleeping 15 year old, but Alex was probably mistaken, the imperial doctors wouldn't have compassion for strangers, they barely cared for their own.
( *Imperial Armed Forces)

the young doctor didn't have any reaction to Alex walking in front of him. Then the doctor walked trough him to get a cup of coffee from the small table to the side. Was he a ghost? He moved to the side of his sleeping form, and reached out to touch himself.

_______.

Alex woke up, tried to get into a sitting position but his arms couldn't support his weight. the young doctor he'd seen stood and came over to his side.

"how are you feeling?" the doctor asked.

"gimme water, please" Alex coughed

the doctor walked out of the door, and he came back holding a cardboard water cup. Alex made a thankful noise and swallowed the water. Swallowing hurt, then he remembered and moved his fingertips to touch his throat.

"why did you want to do it? If I can ask." the doctor spoke softly, sitting down beside him.

"my boyfriend's dead. I'm a worthless, unnatural freak. I don't deserve to live" Alex spoke coarsely and weakly.

"everyone deserves life, why would you be worthless? If you are worthless, then make yourself a worth. I'm sorry about your boyfriend too..." the doctor spoke softly. Alex appreciated the soft and almost quiet voice of the doctor, it remined him of water flowing gently.

"I'm useless, I'll always be this..." Alex was trying to find words for his emotions. "i'll always be this mentally ill faggot without a purpose" he broke down crying into the doctors shoulder. "I just want to feel nothing, I want it all to be over... I'm so wrong and unnatural! No-one will ever love me!" he felt like he was screaming but the sound was barely louder than a whisper.

"don't call yourself that.., you're not unnatural, someone will love you-"

"no. don't lie to me please..."Alex cried "please... I just... please don't..."

it felt like his brain was on fire, like if he had swallowed flaming kerosine. His tears began to fall. His eyes were hurting. His thoughts started to run at lightspeed again. His voice was quiet. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't, his body didn't let him make a sound. The doctor carefully wrapped his arm around him. It felt comfortable.

Alex was slowly falling asleep, he felt safe. His thoughts began to slow down as he drifted of to dreamless sleep where he was safe from nightmares.

______________. (POV change)

the young doctor sat there with a deep feeling of sadness clawing at his chest like an invisible baby eagle. He kept his arm comfortably on the boys shoulder. 'He can't be older than me, and already he has so many scars, both mental and physical...'    he thought to himself as the massive ships hull creaked eerily.

looking out of the window his eyes layed upon an endless, unforgiving abyss. the belt of stars across it was still in it's place, not giving light upon the darkness of the imperium's farthest corners. 

_______..
A/N: hi yall, i'm sorry for forgeting to write again.
 tell me what do you think of the book?

drink water, get rest and have a good day.