in the deep sky's Abyss

_16_

16_ Beginnings

A/N: hi fellas, I'm back with some more of my terrible writing *sporkle* enjoy
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The days were warm, the wind blew sand in storms into the heavy air. Max and Clara had bonded over the last month or two, but as the days passed the rules set by the imperial gurad on the dusty planet got stricter.

Max was learning to harvest the flowers grown in the garden of his newfound familys house. The hpuse consisted of 2 floors, the upper floor was for living but the lower one housed some more rooms and a small shop. There was a cellar with mostly food and water.

The flowers in the garden were a beautiful shade of purple, with red leaves and stems. They smelled so good and so refreshing in the hot still air. The sandstorms were going to start picking up as winter closed in, so Max was tasked with bringing the flower plants into the cellar. When he was finished with his task, by then the wind had picked up from the east, sand was being thrown in the air in high and thick clouds thst encompassed everything.

As Max got inside he moved to find Clara. She was in her room maintaining the rifle the family had. It fired basic gas sealed steel cased ballistic projectiles. Obsolete technology but lethal nonetheless.

"sit" Clara told him without looking. He obeyed the command and watched goncentratesly how she systemathically assembled the parts of the weapon back togheter.

"this,-" Clara incerted a cylindrical piece into the frame of the weapon. "-the bolt, houses the firing pin and extractor.-" Max silently nodded. "-the firing pin strikes primer on base of the case-" Clara grabbed a cartriage from the rag the rifle was resting on and showed it's base to Max. "-the primer ignites the powder in case and lauch  bullet out the barrel" Max filed the memory in his head as important, he felt it's become useful later. Then Clara hid the rifle under floor tiles under an old cabinet. "never tell militsyes" she smiled.

Then, as if summoned there was a knock heard on the door downstairs.

____________________[POV switch]

'The emporium wasn't so bad with it's soldiers, it just didn't see them as humans.' Alex thought as he helped the Doctor patch up some soldiers that were wounded on a planet somewhere far down below.

He started to slip into hid own thoughts, ones his brain forced him to see. The scars of the soldiers melted ibto trees, the blood splatter into the red machine eyes that had Hunted him, the uniforms armor plates melted into the floor of the gargo hold, the shadows of it into snakes. The world around him was blurry but there, he tried to see it but his mind was stubborn to torture him more. There was white walls and a gray steel floor, the floor became closer, he felt the floor.

Alex felt the Doctor pick him up and place him on a table. He felt his tears run down his face. He felt so pathetic. He wanted to just die.

___________[time skip]

Alex woke up. he didn't want to be awake, much less alive. He stumbled over to the mirror in the bathroom of hid staff room, the corner was cracked, He cried and looked at himself in the it.

"you're so pathetic, they all hate you now. You're just a worthless fag, aren't you?!" he cried.

The Doctor stood behind him silently, then spoke softly: "it's gonna be okay, you're not at all worthless-"

"how wouldn't I be? I only cause pain to people I care for" Alex sobbed.

"you're my friend, and bring me joy" the Doctor whispered softly and put his hand on Alex's shoulder.

"you're lying, I could never be a friend, everyone hates me"

"I'd never lie to my friend, why would I?"

Alex just sat on the floor sobbing.

"how about we get you back in bed? It's not healthy for you to be up yet" Doctor whispered to his friend. He felt genuine empathy for the first time in a long time, and maybe something more but he wasn't sure.

He sat next to his troubled friend until he fell alseep. Then the Doctor rose onto his feet and walked to the medical facility slowly. He felt the weight of his footsteps many times multiplied. His soul weighted him down so much, he still remembered every faceless and ununique ordinally numbered soldier and unknown civilian he had let die. He should have just tried harder. He felt the painful weight of the cards in his pocket, that he had played games with for many long hours on many long days. He felt the weight of pretending to be okay.

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A/N: so, I've been gone a bit from this, sorry but I just sent my re-application thingy to highschool so I'm free now to write as much as I wish. 830 words in this chapter.

Remember to eat healthy, drink water and go outside, it's beautiful there. Until next chapter I guess. Leave ideas or suggestions if you wish to.