in the deep sky's Abyss

_5_

This, that, i don't know. (5)

Trigger warning: blood, suicidal attempt, suicidal thought, self harm, etc.

The head doctor said that she couldn't promise anything. She said that it was unlikely that Alex would ever fully recover.

Max was distraught by the gory mess he had walked into. It had been deemed an accident.

Max was staring at a razorblade in her quiet rooms bathroom. She was sitting in the bathtub. She pressed the thin blade against her perfect skin, and pulled it accross. It hurt more than she imagined it would. She dropoed the blade and laid there. Blood dripped from her wrist onto her chest. She felt like what happened to Alex was her fault. If she would just have stayed wirh him. Would it have made a difference afterall..?

She picked up the razor. She cut her other wrist. She started seeing black spots after sitting in place for a while. She wrapped her wrists in a black towel.

Then she passed out.

___________.
When she woke up she was thirsty. She also had a headache, and her legs were numb.

As she stumbled to the cabinet, where the water was, she started regretting her decicion. 'Now i won't be accepted by Alex anymore, now he will see that i am such a pathetic creature. I have no self controll.' She thought

"what was i thinking? That was so reckless" she whispered to herself.

After pulling herself up from the floor, she sat on the bottom bunk. She felt the spot where they had sat togheter. She could still see his laughing eyes. Those sparkling eyes that were always missing something.  Neither of them had been whole, both were depressed, as one would be after seeing their families and friends die.

__________,
Alex had stabilized in the med-bay. He was still unconcious. Solomon was sitting next to his bed, reading.

The lights flickered.

"we are going to experience an ion storm when we land."the captain announced.

Solomon looked up from his holo-screen. The doctors started hastily locking the cabinets and tying down everything that didn't fit in them. The armorer looked sour when he had to leave the side of the suffering boy.

Outside the medbay solomon saw the crew hurrying to secure everything.

"may the gods have mercy on our souls" he whispered to no-one in particular.

As he Solomon was making his way to his domain, he came accross a terrible looking Max.

"what are you doing here, young man?" he asked her kindly.

"i- has Alex waken up yet?" she changed the subject.

"no, i'm afraid that he hasn't. Would you mind helping an old man out?"

She nodded. Atleast she could help Solomon, if she couldn't help alex.

________.
"have you ever loved someone" Max asked hesitantly.

"once, long ago i had a wife and a beautiful child" Solomon answered, looking at Max.
"why'd you ask?"

It was obvious to Max that he knew already, just didn't want to say so.

"i-" she coughed "i and Alex are in love."

Solomon acted surprised to the best of his ability.

"i don't want to lose him" Max broke down. The old armorer slav squatted next to her.

"i understand. I loved my wife and thought that nothing else mattered in the world. It felt like, even if a thousand worlds shattered to dust, it wouldn't matter to me, as long as we were togheter." Max was surprised to see a single tear rolling down the old mans cheek. "then i lost them. My beatiful wife and my son" Solomon sighed, then continued "i watched life drain from their eyes"

"i'm so sorry, i didn't know"

"if i could do something to keep others from experiencing that pain, i would. I'm no doctor, could never be"

They sat on the armory floor comforting each other.

___________-
A/N:
aren't i a lovely person, traumatizing the main charachters, :)

My hand is almost healed, and bestof all, i don't have tetanus.