9 : To my dearest self

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What shall I do for you to forgive me?
I shall utter anything just for you, so please
Forgive this lifeless soul
For I have no life if not for you... myself

"I'm sorry..."
Words I said many times before
Yet they didn't have the same meaning for you
Where "I'm... sorry, " just means something when said to other people
rather than you

"I promise."
A literal promise broken
A blinding light that will make you think it's not all that bad after all
A light once you believed in... THAT WE DID then....

"What happened to us?"
Is the right question to ask
Is the biggest question to us
And a hurtful comment towards our differences now.

I am lost, without you, without me

Without the guidance of childlike intuition, that protected me back then

With the restless loneliness that hunts me now

That comfort given when we used to cry

The warmth in the presence of my so-called 'sanity'
Is a pathetic yet great fantasy... or rather... a memory

those were gone
Blew by the restless wind of this world
The same world that you protected me from
In which I live now.

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