God time literally ran out 3 more days before we go to America i think to myself.
Im currently eating, spending my last day at school with my friends talking and chatting as much as we can.
Estrella☁️: te voy a extrañar mucho🥺.
(I'm going to miss you Soo much)
She says her cat ears folding back in sadness
Yo igual, pero te prometo que estare en contacto con ustedes.😭
(Me too but i promise that I'll stay in contact with you guys)
Cecilia🍋: quedate porfis.
(Stay please) She says sad too.
Ya sabes que no me puedo quedar, ya me puse de acuerdo con mi mamá😿.
(You already know i can't stay, we already have our stuff sorted out with my mom)
Johanny🦋: ayy que Mal.
(Aww to bad)
She says disappointed but sad
In that the bell rings and we go to our classroom to get our stuff and leave but before i grabbed my back pack Johanny🦋, Cecilia🍋 and Estrella☁️ hugged me and i hugged back and we cried 😭.
Adios Milo they say and I hug them back tight and i leave to my dad's truck.
Im going to miss them Soo much I wonder what will happen over there I hope I get to see grandma and tita.
Dad🕶️: Milo when you get home you can start packing if you want.
Oh ok i say slightly saddened
Later I'm in my room packing a couple of things like my sketching book and my clothes but i found an old headphones box Soo i open it and I see a bunch of paper and i looked at one it was an old drawing Estrella☁️ gave me. And then a list I made when I was 13 it had a bunch of stuff i planned on doing with my mom.
The next day i woke up feeling nothing just emptyness i didn't get up from my bed i just lay there staring at the blue roof.
Milo you're drowning but you have to keep it together to be here with the people you love ok? But I'm tired and I don't know if i can keep going i feel like a mess I have to be better but not be too much of me around other people and I can't let go of the past and I overthink to much and make a small issue a big problem that is slowly dragging me under the water and IF I DON'T FUCKING STOP I'M GOING TO FUCKING DROWN AND DIE ALONE I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE!
I sit up and hold my head in my hands pushing my thoughts down taking deep breaths.
Get yourself together Milo i murmur to myself reaching for my headphones and playing music to try to relax and forget, forget, forget, forever.
Time skip
I'm eating dinner with Andrew🍁 and dad🕶️
Dad🕶️: im going to miss you two.
Us too dad, a lot I say eating a little bit
Dad🕶️: you look tired son.
I'm fine don't worry i say slightly eating
My dad🕶️ sighs but doesn't push the issue and finished eating and washed his plate and left the kitchen to his room to watch TV and then Andrew🍁 finished and went to play his video game and i stayed there alone with 0 appetite and my mind. After a bit i throw my food away and go back to my room.
I stayed up late again it's 3 am and i can't sleep and I'm texting my friends and watching TikTok and sketching here and there and i fall asleep out of exhaustion
Hey Milo it's me you're mind don't you wonder what it feels like to be held by someone to be cuddled and loved?. No because i didn't think I can love anymore.
And why's that Milo?. I don't know my emotions are everywhere and i think I'm broken to the point where I can't feel anything maybe I was lonely for too long or maybe that shit head affected me and tried to use me but i didn't let him and maybe there all the same but that's just me.
Imagine walking past every memory of you're life, now we're would you go?. Shut up and let me sleep already im tired ok just get the fuck out of my head please, please.
You're going crazy.
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Author: sorry for not making this sooner 😭 bye.
YOU ARE READING
Actions speak louder than words
Novela Juvenilbasically my OC Milo and his life this is when he's 16 Soo a bit of drama but in my imagination he can be any age.
