Painted Flowers

Chapter 22 - Sanctuary

"Mama, I'm so hungry..."

Cyrah snapped back at Bahati, a little harsher than was necessary. "Hush! I've already told you, you're too old for milk."

"I want prey!" squeaked Cada, wiggling against Cyrah's grooming tongue.

"There's not enough to go around," the mother insisted. "The king and queen need to eat first. Wait for the hunters to return."

"But I want food now, not later," Bahati emphasized.

Kichea rolled her eye, giving her step-siblings a wide berth as she walked among her packmates. The Pack of Falling Ash had made a makeshift settlement still within close sight of the river, past the mountain range that surrounded the southern border and into the beyond, known as "No-pack land." It was ominous out there, nothing but savanna and sparse vegetation as far as the eye could see. Any animal was hard to come by, but especially anything edible.

"Surely the air has cleared up by now?" Kichea picked up on Kwasi's concern as she approached. The prince was sitting with Amare and Amaryllis, wearing his familiar scowl. "Why can't we return yet?"

"I'm not so sure..." Amare frowned. "I think we should give it a few more days, just in case."

"I hate it out here," Kwasi growled. "There's hardly any prey. I hate how we're always returning empty-pawed."

"Well, there's not much prey back home considering the forest isn't even there anymore," Amaryllis pointed out.

As Kichea came closer, the royals and the kindler all looked up at her.

"Have any of you seen Feoria? Is she still..."

Amare sighed and shook their head. "She's been in the den since yesterday."

Kwasi looked down at his paws. It worried Kichea to see the royals so forlorn in these uncertain times. She almost felt it was their unspoken responsibility to keep their subjects' spirits high, and when even they couldn't offer a solution to their troubles, it just felt so hopeless.

"Maybe you should go check on her," Amare suggested after a disconsolate pause.

Kichea nodded slowly, turning and making her way to a sorry-looking hole in the ground among the thorn bushes. This "den" belonged only to the royals; no other Ash dog was permitted to sleep inside. Cyrah and her pups also had their own "den", so the most vulnerable dogs could take cover in safety, but every other dog was forced to sleep outside. Kichea had grown accustomed to Ash hierarchy so she didn't think twice about this fact, but she did find herself longing for the cool shade of the cave she used to sleep in. Of course, she missed everything about her home.

"Feoria?" Kichea poked her head inside, though it was very dim, and she had to squint to be able to make out her friend sitting only a tiny length away.

"Go away," came a weak, defeated reply.

Kichea hesitated at the entrance, but made the decision to crawl her way in, pressing her belly to the ground to make eye contact with Feoria. Well, she would have if the latter wasn't turned away, facing the wall.

"Y-your siblings and I...are worried about you. A-and...could you check my bandages for me? Everything still stings. Maybe...maybe getting back into healing will help you feel better."

No response. Kichea dragged herself closer, and when she did so, Feoria rose to a sitting position, still turned away.

"Your pack needs you, Feoria." I need you, especially.

"'My pack' this and 'my pack' that," Feoria growled under her breath. "Zahra was my pack, too."

Kichea's heart dropped at the name. She had waited with Feoria beside that riverbank until the wildfire had reached the very edge and they were forced to retreat for a breath of fresh air. Feoria had assumed the missing dogs to be dead at that point, which Kichea refused to think about. Perhaps she was just in denial.

"We...don't know for sure that she's gone," she murmured.

"She's not here."

Kichea flinched. When she glanced up again, she noticed the sorrow in Feoria's eyes. She was obviously hurting more than Kichea realized. Kichea definitely missed her foster siblings, and felt so much regret for Layali's treatment after the reveal of her identity. She also knew that there was something a little more between Feoria and Zahra. Something special.

Kichea tried to put that trivia to the back of her mind.

After a pause, Feoria rapidly blinked away her tears. "I'm sorry...I just...miss her so much."

Naturally she would. Kichea tried to numb her racing thoughts, and ended up frozen in place. Feoria approached her and sat beside her, gently tugging at the vines and leaves Kichea wore as an eyepatch.

"And Zain," Feoria added softly. "I miss him, a lot. I even miss Layali... They should've found us by now."

They should have. Layali shouldn't have felt unsafe to the point she ran away. Zahra and Zain shouldn't have had to make the decision to rescue her. They should all have been safe in their evacuation with their packmates. It was agonizing that their fate was still unconfirmed.

Kichea just had to say something optimistic, if only to keep Feoria's spirits up, though it was a difficult feat. "We can't give up hope. They could still return to us yet."

"How can you be so sure?" Feoria cried out. "How can you stay positive all the time? You don't have to pretend, there's no reason to. Your mother ignores you, you lost your father and your eye and..."

Kicea shifted uncomfortably.

Feoria sighed, clearly realizing her mistake, fiddling with the fresh leaves that had been foraged hours earlier. "Ugh, Kichea... I'm sorry. I'm no good with words, you know this. F-forget about Cyrah. You've never needed a mother. Your entire life you've been a strong, independent dog."

Kichea forgave Feoria; of course she did. She could never hold a grudge against her. The princess just had a different way of expressing her feelings, and at times would say things she couldn't hold back.

Kichea tried again. "We've both lost loved ones..."

Feoria inhaled.

"...But we still have each other."

Feoria looked up into Kichea's hollow eye socket, with tears filling her own golden ones. Kichea's heart fluttered with affection, and she let out a timid smile.

"You're right," Feoria said quietly. "We still have each other. If you can stay positive, I can too."

Why was she so selfish?

Kichea longed for nothing more than for things to return to normal. To when she and Feoria were safe, back at their home, chatting away about sweet nothings. Laughing and joking together, not just in the medicine cave but strolling the territory together. She cherished those moments so much.

Of course she wished for the safe return of her foster siblings. She loved Zahra and Zain so much. But she knew that she always had a deep... envy towards Zahra; one that she was so incredibly ashamed of. She wished she could have Feoria for herself, and that Zahra could find someone else. Zahra had her twin brother, so Kichea should be able to have Feoria.

Why was she thinking that way? Zahra was missing for Creator's sake. She was probably in danger! No, she'll be okay. She has to...

Kichea just couldn't help it. Her thoughts and morals were so confusing. But despite everything, she desperately wanted to see Zahra again. So they could at the very least clear the air.