Tumblr Prompts

Fever (Kellic)

omfg so this actually got rly sad omg im so so sorry i was listening to "searching for a former clarity" by against me! and it fit the prompt so i just kind of went with it so the italicized bits are excerpts of lyrics from the song and yEAH

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Anonymous asked: Yo you should do #46 pls & thank u

46. fever

No, the doctors didn't tell you that you were dying

They just collected their money and sent you on your way

But you knew all along

Went on pretending nothing was wrong

You said, "I will keep my focus 'til the end."

Kellin is seventeen years old, and he is diagnosed with a fatal disease. The thing is, they don't tell him or his family outright that it's fatal. They say that it has a fairly high mortality rate, but they also say that it's curable, that they might have a chance to save him. And they're not really lying, but Kellin can't help but get the feeling that it's already too late.

He tells his best friend, Vic, who cries on his shoulder even though he never cries, ever, and they hold each other tight on Kellin's bed, Vic promising to never let Kellin go and Kellin promising that he won't give up, that he'll keep his focus until the end.

They both know that this disease is going to kill him, even if the doctors never said it.

Despite everyone you ever meet or love

In the end, will you be all alone?

Kellin is eighteen years old, and he's insisting to everyone that "it's just a fever," even though they all know it's not. He keeps on going, pushes to finish high school, whether it be through public school or cyber-school or home school—somehow. He starts a band somehow, too, sings his lungs out even when it hurts, even when he feels like he can't breathe, even though they all know that it's not going to last very long anyway. He's desperate to make a mark, no matter how small, and he's determined to do it through music.

Somewhere along the line, he realizes that he's in love with Vic, and he confesses to him through a song he wrote himself, and Vic cries again because he feels the same way, because he knows that they don't have much time left, because he knows that this love isn't going to last.

And despite how much Kellin doesn't want to admit it, he knows it, too, though he tries not to think about it. He tries not to think about how alone he's going to be, no matter how hard he loves Vic. It won't be enough. Nothing will be enough.

As you fell to your knees in the center of the stage

As you offered witness to mortality in exchange for the ticket price

As the lights blended in to the continuing noise

As all hope was finally lost

Adrenaline carried one last thought to fruition...

Kellin is nineteen years old, and he's so fucking sick, but he still fights for one last show. Everyone tells him it's a bad idea, but it doesn't stop him. He knows he's going to die soon. If it happens to be tonight, then he doesn't care, so long as he can sing his heart out before it happens.

That night, he screams louder than ever before, putting every ounce of passion and energy that he has left into his performance while Vic watches from the side. He's in so much pain, and he can feel his body falling apart from the inside out, and still he keeps going, falling to his knees onstage as the disease overtakes him. He's angry and afraid, and he can barely tell the difference between lights and people, between music and screaming, between his own voice and the pounding of his head and the desperate pumping of his heart.

When he is able to look up, he sees Vic fighting to get closer to the stage, and he's crying again, because he knows what's about to happen. They both know. They've been waiting two years for this.

Kellin feels like he's exploding, but through the chaos and the agony, the adrenaline rushing through his veins, he manages to make a last few thoughts: thoughts about how he loves Vic, thoughts about how he hopes that after a struggle he was never going to win, it's finally all over.

Let this be the end

Let this be the last song

Let this be the end

Let all be forgiven.