What after That?

Ch 45.

July 1, 2016. Schools were resuming, and Ishan stood in front of the mirror, studying his own reflection with a forced smile that barely reached his eyes. 

He took a deep, shaky breath, trying to steady the frantic beating of his heart, a strange mix of excitement and dread swirling inside him. 

The thrill of seeing Shubman after the break was undeniable, yet the weight of his emotions felt like it was crushing him from the inside. Every time he imagined Shubman's face, a pang of longing shot through him, each second feeling heavier and more unbearable.

"Just a few more months, Ishan," he whispered to himself, as if speaking the words aloud would make them more real. School would end soon, and with it, his torturous feelings might finally be left behind. 

It was both a relief and a sadness he couldn't put into words—the thought of not seeing Shubman again, of not being able to bask in his presence, even from afar, left a dull ache in his chest. 

But he knew, for his own peace, that it was better this way. Better to end things on neutral ground than to risk his own heart by letting Shubman see the truth in his eyes.

He gulped, feeling his throat tighten, and practiced his best smile, forcing the corners of his mouth up again and again. It was mechanical, hollow, and his face quickly fell back into a frown each time. 

"Just do what you always do," he murmured under his breath, attempting to coach himself into composure. "Don't look at him too long, don't let him see anything unusual. That will be enough."

He knew that even one lingering look could betray him, could make him falter. Ishan was terrified of what his own face might reveal if he wasn't careful. 

If he, himself, was so overwhelmed and scared by his feelings, how could Shubman possibly understand them? No, Shubman was better off without any hint of Ishan's foolish heart.

Sighing, Ishan gave his reflection one last practiced, half-hearted smile, hoping it would be enough to carry him through the day. It had to be. 

He whispered to himself again, almost as if it was a prayer, "Just a few more months... then it will all be over. And maybe its not even What I am thinking." 

Even as he said it, a part of him ached at the thought of letting go. But for now, he'd mask it all behind that carefully crafted smile, hiding the truth from everyone, especially Shubman.

Cause truth can make everyone feel ashamed of evening knowing someone like Ishan, according to Ishan.

As Ishan walked through the corridor, lost in his thoughts, he felt someone jump from behind and wrap him in a sudden, tight hug. Warm breath tickled his ear as a familiar voice whispered, "Missed me?" 

That voice—it was the one he'd longed to hear, but he was determined to keep his composure. Turning his head just slightly, Ishan caught a glimpse of Shubman's face, his eyes full of mischief and that signature smirk. 

Forcing down the swell of emotions, he replied, "Not at all," keeping his tone light and casual.

Shubman raised an eyebrow, backing away with a playful glint of suspicion in his eyes. He was unfazed, though, and slung his arm around Ishan's shoulder as if it was the most natural thing in the world, walking alongside him like no time had passed. 

Inside, Shubman was practically bouncing with excitement; he wanted to yell, "I missed you SO much!" and hold Ishan close for just a little longer—or maybe a lot longer. 

But instead, he kept his cool, silently happy to be right there beside him again.

Ishan, though, was struggling to keep his own excitement under wraps. The sight of Shubman up close—his face glowing with joy, his laugh lines crinkling with his grin, and the warmth radiating from his arm around Ishan's shoulders—it all made his heart race.