Dark Paradise || Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Reader

Chapter 4

(3rd person's pov)

While the two young padawans and Senator Amidala are on their way to the Senator's home, Naboo for protection, Obi-Wan Kenobi meets up with an old friend. This friend being Dexter Jestter, Obi-Wan asks Dexter about the poisoned dart that went through the assassins neck. He gets the advice he was looking for in the end.

Once Y/n, Anakin, and Padme finally arrive at Naboo, they go get something to satisfy their appetite at the Varkino Villa. They get a table and sit down, Padme being on the opposite side of Y/n and Anakin.

(y/n's pov)

I'm still very upset about what happened with Anakin, though I wish it would happen again. It can't though. Jedi are forbidden to have any lust, or love towards another, and that rule will never changed. Bad things can happen, both being taken away our chances of becoming Jedi, or leading towards the dark side. I've had dreams about it, actually. Dreams that I have not told anyone about and don't intend to. I have told Anakin of having nightmares, but not what they are about.

Almost every night, it's the same upsetting dream.

Almost every night, I dream about torture, violence, and anger. I am in those dreams, and so is Anakin.

Almost every night, I am dreaming about the worst thing that could happen. Which is me, betraying my own morals, turning to the dark side. Chancellor Palpatine also makes his appearance in these dreams, saying something to me with his low scratchy voice but I can never figure out what he is trying to tell me, which is why every time I am just the slightest near him my nerves and thoughts go crazy, bringing me back to the terrible cloud of darkness. These nightmares are always blurry, and cold feeling. I always wake up in a cold sweat, not being able to fall back asleep. I can't let anyone know about the things I witness in my sleep, especially my brother.

I get interrupted by my thoughts as Padme, Anakin, and I are sitting eating our lunch, "Must be difficult, having sworn your life to the Jedi, not being able to do things you like or just want to do," I look at Padme then to the floor as I put my spoon from my soup down.

I can feel Anakin's eyes on me, waiting for me to respond to Padme, "Or be with the people I love."

This asshole. He knows exactly what he's doing to me. Padme responds to his comment with a question, "Are you allowed to love?" Oh I wish.

"I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi." It kinda is, but also a person just can't obtain their feelings fully.

I move my head towards Anakin, letting him know he needs to watch his mouth before he says anything he'll regret, "Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi's life." I look at Padme before I look back at Anakin with a deathly look, "So you might say that we are encouraged to love."

He's trying to kill me. Just stab me through the heart it'll be less painful. I need him so bad, but I can't have him. And I go crazy about the things I cannot have. He knows damn well that we are not even close to be allowed to love or show any affection, especially towards another Jedi.

Padme smiles at Anakin's response smirking a little, "Wow, you've changed so much Anakin. Not the little boy I knew from Tatooine that's for sure."

My heart is beating crazy. I can sense her nervousness towards him, and her excitement when he looks just slightly at her. The delusion. I'm sorry, that was really bitchy of me.