Breaking free - Gracie Abrams

008 I'm (not) Fine

I'm (not) Fine
008

gabriella lay on her bed, her face turned toward the ceiling. her breathing had steadied, but her chest still felt tight, like she couldn't quite take a full breath.

the image of gracie and harry burned into her mind like a cruel watermark. she wanted to believe it wasn't real, that it was some bizarre dream her subconscious had conjured to punish her, but no matter how many times she closed her eyes, the memory of that picture remained vivid.

from the living room, voices floated in—faint, but enough to pull her back into reality.

"she's not dead, she's sleeping," glenn said.

nate sighed audibly. "when she called me, she was all panicked and, i quote, 'i think i'm having a heart attack.' not to sound rude, but why are you here?"

"i was gonna hang out with her," glenn replied.

gabriella clenched her jaw at their voices, feeling equal parts guilty and annoyed. the truth was she hadn't been asleep for at least thirty minutes. she had woken up disoriented, her head spinning, and decided it was easier to lie there and pretend everything was fine. because if she moved, if she got up, she'd have to confront the truth—that gracie, her gracie, was with harry.

she rolled onto her side, the familiar creak of the bed frame masking her soft sigh. it was easier to stay still, to let the voices from the living room blur together.

"she always does this," nate muttered. "she panics, freaks out, and then shuts everyone out when it matters."

"she's been going through a lot," glenn countered. "you can't just blame her for that."

gabriella's lip curled at their words. they were dissecting her like she wasn't there, like her emotions were some puzzle they could piece together over a casual conversation.

"you guys know i can hear you, right?" her voice came out raspier than she intended, but it was enough to shut them up.

a moment of silence passed before nate appeared in the doorway, arms crossed and an unimpressed look on his face. "so, you're not dying?"

"disappointed?" gabriella muttered, sitting up and rubbing at her temples.

glenn leaned against the doorframe behind nate, offering a small, sheepish smile. "you had us worried. well, me. he's just annoyed."

"i'm annoyed because you called me, thinking you were on the verge of a breakdown, and now you're just... lounging," nate shot back, motioning toward her unmade bed.

"i'm sorry for existing," gabriella snapped, the irritation bubbling in her chest. "next time i'll make sure to actually keel over before i bother you."

"you can't just call and say 'im having a heart attack and expect me to be okay!" nate said.

glenn held up his hands, stepping between them. "okay, okay. let's all take a breath, yeah?" he turned to gabriella. "what's going on?"

she hesitated, her eyes flicking between the two of them. for a moment, she considered brushing it off, telling them she was fine and to leave her alone. but then the image of gracie and harry flashed in her mind again, and the words spilled out before she could stop them.

"it's stupid," she said, shaking her head. "it's just... i saw a picture of gracie. with harry."

glenn furrowed his brows. "and?"

"and they were kissing," she continued, her voice cracking slightly. "and i should be mad at you."

"me?" nate pointed to himself, his expression somewhere between confused and defensive.