Taylor Swift is my therapist ( no really)

Chapter 8

Amelia's POV:
"Okay , why have you been avoiding therapy." Taylor said staring directly into my soul. I was super nervous and scared about being back here, and I knew she was upset, but I couldn't help become defensive, it was just a coping mechanism at this point. "You know, you're not as nice as that other therapist lady." Taylor just stared blankly with a confused look on her face until she connected the dots. "Who, oh Gracie?, yeah well she's a child psychologist and I'm sure her patients don't just not show up to any of their appointments for weeks at end."
Well, she had me there, I just sighed and leaned back in my chair. "I'm sorry okay? I just needed a break, sometimes it's to overwhelming being here , and once I skipped one session I couldn't stop." Taylor just slightly nodded and grabbed her notebook out again. That damn notebook.

"Look, I know you hate being here, and I try not to take offence to that because I'm super cool so I know it's not about me, but I think coming to these sessions are really important Amelia." I just chuckled slightly and rolled my eyes. What a millennial. "You think you're super cool huh?" I said with a smirk. "Yes I am, but we aren't going to sit here for an hour cracking jokes, we are here to talk about you."
I just exhaled heavily and shrunk in my chair. Telling jokes would be a lot funner, that's for sure. "Ugh why do you have to be so serious, I'm just trying to have fun!" "Hmm trying to have fun, or avoid talking about your emotions?" She looked at me and smirked, knowing she was right. "Fine whatever." I rolled my eyes, annoyed. "Okay then Miss attitude, what's being going on for you?" I fiddled in my lap, replying with " same old, same old." Taylor just shifted in her seat, eager to get more out of me. "Care to elaborate on that?." "No, not really." I just told her, giving her a nice smile, knowing she hated me. She didn't give up that easily unfortunately. "You know Amelia, you can avoid these conversations all you want, but I'm going to keep making sure you come in, and even if it's not to me, you will talk to someone."

" Oh yeah? And how will you make that happen?" I was expecting Taylor to back out, let me go, but she was clearly a stubborn lady. "Well, if you don't like me I could always get you to see Gracie who you seem to love so much? Or even one of the males? I know you would that!." My heart sank immediately. I could not imagine not speaking to Taylor let alone a male therapist. She knew she had cracked me. "but..I ..um- "Right, now that you know I'm serious about this, should we try again? And I want you to engage please." Taylor said, giving me a serious mum look. I just gulped and nodded, knowing she was not messing around. She simply smiled and grabbed her pen back up. "Great so how has school been going?" I just started bouncing me knee, needing something to distract me from my thoughts. "Well um, it's been alright I guess, there's a couple classes that stress me out, it's just a lot of pressure." Taylor wrote down some notes before looking back up. "Okay pressure from who?" "Um.. my parents, they want me to get these super high grades and whenever I don't meet their standard there is always punishments." "Okay, I thought that might be the case, so school must be super stressful and I imagine home life isn't much better?." She gave me a sympathetic look while waiting on my answer. I could practically feel the tears spring into my eyeballs and the questions surrounding my home life. "It's been really bad, the fighting won't stop, and they are never happy. There was one night last week when um.." I feel my voice go wobbly but Taylor just motions for me to keep going. "Um.. they got really mad at my sister for something, and I wasn't there to protect her, so I walked into her being yelled at by my dad while she's just... crying." I was sobbing, at this point, just so heartbroken about my sister having to go through that. "I'm normally her protection you know? And I couldn't be there to help her. So that night was rough." Taylor handed her box of tissues again, me taking about one hundred to try and stop the tears. "Amelia, I, so happy you told that to me, that must of been so upsetting not being able to protect her, but I have to ask, what do you mean that night was rough?, did you do something hun?" I just stared at my lap, knowing that she knew. I hadn't told anyone about my cutting, and I didn't want to start now.

"Oh um it was nothing.. just a lot of crying you know." I gave a terrible fake smile trying to show her that I looked better, but she saw right through it. "Amelia, I need you to be so honest with me right now, I can tell your hiding something from me, and it's extremely important that you tell me." I just sighed, admitting defeat. "I um.. that night.. I may of cut myself.." Taylor just nodded, her suspicions revealed. "Thank you for telling me, is this something you do often?" I immediately defended myself. "No! I promise I don't do it often! I had been doing so good and then.. and then.." my heart was racing, I wasn't even lying, I had been clean and cut free before that night. "Hey hey, it's okay, I believe you, I was just asking." Taylor got out of her seat and came and sat next to me, comforting me. "If you promise, this is something that you rarely do, I won't make you show me them alright?." Phew, I let out a big breath, thank god, I couldn't experience that embarrassment right now. "But." Taylor said, making me immediately nervous, but is never a good word to here. "I need you to throw out whatever you were using okay? I am trusting you to do this ams, and if you do cut again I will take further action okay? I'm just trying to keep you as safe as I can right now." I just nodded sadly, knowing she was right.

"Okay buddy, that was a big session and Im so glad you finally came back, but can I run one last thing by you?." I looked up at her with my tear stained face and nodded. "Based on what happened that night, I think Izzy should get some therapy as well? She could start off with me and then go to Gracie if she feels comfortable?" I agreed, knowing it was going to be good for her, she was going to hate it at first considering she was so much shyer than me, but it was the right thing to do, she couldn't just confide in me all of the time. "Yeah that's a good idea, just letting you know she probably won't talk much and also I don't know how my parents will hate it considering they already hate me being in therapy." Taylor just continued to rub my back while she thought. "Don't worry Amelia, I will make her super comfortable, and she doesn't have to say a lot if she doesn't want to, and as for your parents, maybe don't tell them? Say she has a dance class or something? I know you're a good liar." Taylor smirks at me and I just chuckle.

"Okay come on then, let's book you some more sessions." I just sighed heavily and rolled my eyes. "Oh don't do that, you know you love me." She dried my tears and we walked out to the reception, Gracie the other therapist talking to the receptionist. "Oh hey Gracie!, Amelia here really admires your work!" Taylor says laughing super hard. I glared at her as my cheeks flush red with embarrassment. "Oh really?, well um thank you then! Also, I have heard lots about you from Taylor!." I glared at Taylor again only for her to laugh again. "Oh come on! I like telling people about you! You're one of my favourite patients!." I just smiled at that, knowing that it was probably true. I got booked in for more sessions and I booked Izzy in aswell. I thanked them all and then walked out. Maybe that wasn't as hard as I thought?

A/N: Hello everyone! I am so sorry I haven't updated but my writers block is gone and I hope this long update is a good enough apology! Thank you to everyone that enjoys my book and leaves nice comments, it truely means the world to me! Eras tour is about to end so I'm trying to keep myself busy so I don't cry ahah! Thank you all :)