Taylor Swift is my therapist ( no really)

Chapter 11

Amelias POV:

The walk home hand in hand with Izzy was quiet, both of us zoned out in our own little worlds. I was relieved that Izzy was finally opening up to someone, and equally that that someone cared and would listen to her.

You froze all your thoughts, breaking the silence. "Did you like Taylor and Gracie Iz?" you asked, looking down at her petite little face. She gave a soft smile "Yeah, Taylors super kind and Gracie had lots of cool things in her room" she replied, you chuckled. You arrived home, hoping for a soft and uneventful evening. You walked in, your parents not  acknowledging you or your sister. They didn't care, and you had to accept that. 

You walked up to your room, locking the door. Your mind was racing with thoughts, your sister, your parents, school pressure, it felt like a cave was closing in on you. Your eyes started filling with water and you couldn't help but spiral. There were to many thoughts, and you couldn't shut them off, only was thing was going to help you, you had to self harm. You went to your school bag, finding your pencil sharpener and slipping out the blade like an eased professional. You were about to make the first cut when Taylor's voice entered your head. You felt so sick, if you did this, you would disappoint her so much, which made you feel extremely guilty.

You stopped, remembering the deal she made, you had to call her. It's what she wanted you to do, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. Your whole body was shaking, but you unlocked your phone, your hand trembling over Taylor's contact. Without thinking, you pressed call, the phone line ringing once, before you hung up. You backed out. You couldn't reach out for help, it was to hard. 

Not even a minute later, your phone lit up, Taylor calling you back. You declined, but it didn't stop, she kept calling, and spam texting, things such as 'Are you okay' or 'Pick up the phone', you could tell she was stressed out. Eventually, you sighed, giving in and answering the phone.

I stared at the screen, my fingers shaking as I pressed answer.

"H-Hello?" My voice barely felt like mine—soft, shaky, fragile.

There was a brief pause on the other end before Taylor spoke gently, "Amelia, what's going on? I can hear it in your voice—you're panicking. Talk to me."

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat growing heavier. "I'm... I'm fine, really. It's nothing. Just tired."

"No, it's not nothing. You don't sound fine. I'm here, okay? You don't have to face this alone."

Her words wrapped around me like a lifeline, but the fear still twisted in my chest. "I wanted to... I almost did something stupid," I admitted, voice cracking. "I thought about hurting myself again."

Taylor's voice softened but held firm, "Thank you for telling me. That was really brave."

"But I didn't call you before... I hung up. I'm sorry," I whispered, guilt pouring out.

"It's okay. What matters is you tried. Next time, call me right away, even if you're scared. I promise you, we'll get through it together."

Tears spilled down my cheeks as relief and shame tangled inside me. "I just feel so lost sometimes. Like everything's too much."

"I know. But you're stronger than you think, Amelia. And I'm not going anywhere. We'll keep working on this, step by step."

I took a shaky breath, the knot in my chest loosening just a little. "Okay... I'll try."

"That's all I ask," she said, her voice steady and warm. "You're not alone, okay? I'm just a call away."

I wiped my tears, feeling a flicker of hope. For the first time in a long time, I believed maybe things could get better. 

Taylor had sent you lots of messages leading up to your next appointment that week, after the phone call that night. It was now tuesday which meant you and Izzy had appointments today, ad getting Izzy there was not gonna be an easy task. "I don't wanna go," she whined, her voice dragging out each word like it was the hardest thing in the world.

I sighed, pulling on my jacket as I glanced over at her. "Iz, I know it's scary, but Taylor and Gracie are really nice. Remember how much fun you had last time?"

Izzy shook her head stubbornly, refusing to meet my eyes. "But I don't wanna talk to anyone. I just wanna stay here."

My heart squeezed at her distress. I wanted to say all the right things, to make her feel safe and calm, but the words felt useless. Instead, I sat beside her, taking her hand gently.

"It's okay to feel scared, Izzy. I'm scared too sometimes," I admitted softly. "But Taylor wants to help us, and you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Just give it a try, for me?"

She looked up at me, eyes shiny with tears but still unconvinced. The weight of her silence was heavy.

Feeling helpless, I pulled out my phone and typed a quick message to Taylor.

Hey Taylor, Izzy is really upset about coming today. She's sulking and doesn't want to go at all. Any advice?

I hit send and put the phone down, watching Izzy's little face scrunch up again. The minutes ticked by slowly, and then my phone buzzed.

Thanks for letting me know, Amelia. Sometimes kids get scared about new things or opening up. Try to remind Izzy that Gracie is fun and she can do colouring or just hang out — no pressure to talk. Also, maybe bring her favourite toy or snack to make it feel more comfortable. I'll be there too, so she won't be alone.

Reading the message, I felt a bit more hopeful. I looked at Izzy and smiled gently.

"How about you bring your stuffed bunny with you? And I'll be right there the whole time."

She blinked, considering, then gave a small nod. "Okay... but only if you hold my hand."

"Deal," I promised, squeezing her hand. "We're in this together."

It wasn't perfect, but it was a start. You walked down to the office with her after school, Izzys arm clutching her stuffed animal for life, you walked into the building, signing you and izzy in. Then you walked over finding a pair of chairs and sitting down, izzy however immediately sat on your lap, curling into you. You sighed...This was gonna be fun.

A/N: Double update for you guys today! Love you all!