Taylor Swift is my therapist ( no really)

Chapter 12

The waiting room was quiet except for the soft rustle of papers and the occasional distant murmur of voices from other rooms. Izzy was curled tightly in my lap, her small body trembling just a little as she clutched her stuffed bunny like it was a lifeline. Her eyes were wide, darting nervously around the room.

I ran my fingers gently through her soft hair, whispering, "It's okay, Iz. I'm right here."

She pressed her face into my chest, seeking comfort, and I held her closer, trying to soak up her fear for both of us. The minutes dragged on, each one slower than the last.

Then, the door to the therapy rooms swung open, and Taylor stepped out first. She looked casual and approachable in her worn jeans and soft sweater, her smile warm and genuine as she scanned the waiting room.

Right behind her was Gracie — tall and graceful in a long, flowing dress that made her look almost like she belonged in a different world, calm and collected. Gracie's eyes caught Izzy immediately, and she gave a small wave.

Izzy stiffened in my arms and suddenly whimpered softly. "Amelia..." she murmured, clutching her bunny tighter, "I don't wanna go with her. Don't leave me."

My heart broke at the panic in her voice, and I hugged her even tighter. "I'm not going anywhere, Iz. I promise."

Taylor caught my eye and gave a reassuring nod. "Gracie's really sweet, Izzy. She loves colouring and drawing — just like you. You can hang out with her, no pressure to talk if you don't want to."

Izzy peeked up at Gracie shyly, then buried her face in my shirt again.

I gave her a soft smile. "How about you and Gracie do some colouring together? I'll be right here when you finish, okay?"

Izzy nodded reluctantly but didn't move.

Taylor crouched down beside us. "Take your time. I'll be right here too."

I whispered, "You're safe. You can do this."

Izzy sniffled but finally unclenched her grip and let Gracie gently take her hand, leading her toward the room.

As Izzy disappeared behind the door, my stomach twisted. I didn't want her to be alone with anyone, no matter how kind they seemed. The thought of losing sight of her, even for a little while, felt unbearable.

Taylor sat beside me, breaking the silence. "Amelia, your session's next. I know it's hard — but you're not alone, okay? We'll get through this together."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. "Okay." 

I followed her into her office, slumping down on the couch. Taylor sat in her seat across getting her pen and paper out.

She smiled softly. "Hey, Amelia. You doing okay so far today?"

I shrugged, not trusting myself to speak yet. Taylor gave me a moment — that easy kind of silence that somehow made it easier to breathe.

After a beat, she leaned forward slightly. "Look, I know you're not big on talking about everything, and that's totally fine. But after that phone call last night — you know, when you reached out but then hung up — I just want you to know you're not alone, okay?"

I swallowed hard, the memory of that panicked moment flooding back. I'd felt so trapped, so ashamed. But Taylor saying it out loud, like it was normal, made me want to trust her more.

She reached out, resting her hand lightly on mine. "That was a brave thing to do, even if it didn't feel like it at the time."

I bit my lip, finally looking up at her. "It just... it got too much. I wanted to call you, but then I didn't know what to say."

Taylor nodded, her eyes kind but serious. "That's okay. You don't have to have all the words right away. Sometimes just reaching out is enough."

There was a pause, then she said gently, "Want to tell me what was going through your head? No pressure. Whenever you're ready."

I hesitated, then let out a shaky breath. "It felt like everything was closing in — Izzy, school, the silence at home. I just couldn't stop the noise in my head."

Taylor gave a small encouraging smile. "Sounds exhausting. That's a lot for anyone to carry."

I nodded, the tears I'd been holding back threatening to spill.

Taylor's tone was soft but firm. "Remember, Amelia, when things get overwhelming and you think about hurting yourself — that deal we made? You promised to call me."

I looked down, ashamed. "I almost didn't... but then you kept calling. You didn't give up on me."

Her smile deepened. "I'm not giving up. And I won't, as long as you keep letting me in."

I wiped my eyes, feeling a little lighter. Maybe opening up wasn't so scary after all.

Taylor gave me a moment to collect myself, then leaned back, folding her hands loosely in her lap. "So, what's been going on with you lately? Not just the tough stuff — what's been making you laugh, or smile, or even just feel... okay?"

I shrugged, the question catching me off guard. "I dunno. I guess... sometimes when Izzy laughs, it makes me laugh too. It's kind of nice."

Taylor smiled warmly. "That's a pretty good reason right there to hold onto."

I felt a small flicker of something—hope, maybe?—start to push through the dark fog.

She tilted her head, her tone casual but curious. "What about school? How's that going?"

I sighed, the stress bubbling up again. "It's a lot. Everyone expects me to be 'fine' and 'on top of stuff,' but I'm barely holding it together. I hate disappointing people."

Taylor nodded, no judgment there. "That sounds exhausting. Sometimes it feels like we're juggling a million things and someone's watching, waiting for us to drop just one."

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Exactly."

She tapped her pen lightly on the notebook. "Have you found anything that helps you when it all gets too much? Like, little things that ground you or calm you down?"

I thought about it. "Sometimes music. Or drawing. And, weirdly, texting you. Even if it's just to say I'm overwhelmed."

Taylor smiled like she'd won a tiny victory. "I'm glad. You know, reaching out isn't easy. But it's important."

We sat quietly for a minute, the silence feeling less heavy this time.

Then Taylor added, "Remember, you don't have to fix everything overnight. Healing is slow and messy. And that's okay."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. "I want to believe that."

She reached over, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I know you do. And I'll be here to remind you when you forget."

I smiled, feeling... lighter than I had in weeks.

A/N: Another update, I have a lot of writing fuel today ahaha. I do love this book, but im loosing ideas on what to do, to keep it going. Please drop some suggestions if you want to!