Another Lost Soul

Author's Note

Hello,

So I know some of you might hate me, that's if you even stuck around. I know I wouldn't. I said I wouldn't abandon this, and yet it's sat idle for over a year. 

It's not that I've truly given up or even that I don't care, it's just that I've grown as a person and a writer. I've come to be fond of this story, but also a little disappointed in some things I've written.

For Example:

1. Having Sirius outed in front of a large body of people. 

I am a huge fan of Wolfstar and yet for the sake of Teddy being born, I didn't let it happen here. This moment was supposed to be a funny and cute little tribute to one of my favorite ships.

I now find it cringey and uncomfortable. I would hate it if someone did it to me so it's definitely not cute to do it to someone else. 

2. Ron's eating habit jokes.

Someone had made a scathing comment on how rude and uncomfy it is for people to constantly point out how much he eats. When I apologized for making them uncomfortable, they assured me that they were referring to the characters, not my writing. The thing is, I still felt guilty and properly scolded. 

I am in no way upset at the commentator, in fact I kinda wanna thank them. I feel like it made me realize I have some unresolved self image issues that I may have been projecting, 

But that's between me and my therapist.

3. I love Clint. 

I have always had a soft spot for Clint/Hawkeye. He's so...human. No superpowers, no overly complicated suits, no serum in his veins, its really just my man and a bow. He is a cockroach that has yet to be defeated. And I love him for it. 

I had no reason to take this lovely cockroach from Laura and his kids. There are so many possible love interests that are single. 

4. Nikita needs a personality adjustment

I feel like I was all over the place with her personality. If you couldn't tell I was sending her straight down the alcoholism track. That's not the part that bothers me. I KNOW what alcoholism looks like. I would have had no problem portraying it or her steps to recovery. I wanted her to have layers, hence my reason for her unhealthy coping mechanism.

My problem was everything else. 

I wanted her to be a funny, but serious. I wanted her to be maternal, but a little childish. I wanted her to be flirty, but a little shy, and so on and so forth. And that's not to say she couldn't be all those things, cause like I said, layers. However I still felt like I didn't quite know what do with her character.

Point is, that I haven't forgotten this story, nor have I blocked it from my mind. For the longest time I've been thinking of begrudgingly finishing it or rewriting. 

As a college student, I really don't think I'm going to finish it as it is. I simply don't have the time or the desire to spend my limited free time on something that no longer brings me joy (the storyline, not the writing). I am, however very open to rewriting. 

And when I say rewriting, I mean demolishing like 70% of who my characters are and their background. I might even erase some of the characters and replace them. A lot would change.

Which is why I am leaving it up to you all. Would you all be willing to give a rewrite a chance?

With regret,

Leah