God's way

Part 21

Adma

When I got home, the house was unusually quiet. The usual sounds of laughter and conversation were absent, replaced by a stillness that seemed to wrap around me as I stepped inside. I felt the exhaustion of the day settle in, and without bothering to say hello to anyone, I headed straight to my room.

I shut the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, closing my eyes. My mind was racing, replaying everything that had happened. I felt the overwhelming urge to cry but held it back. Instead, I walked over to the mirror above my dresser and stared at my reflection. I hesitated before reaching up and tugging the turtleneck down, exposing the red, sore mark on my neck. 

I traced the mark lightly with my fingers, feeling the sting. It was like a brand, a constant reminder of what had happened. 

I thought about Nabil knowing, the way he had looked at me with concern and anger. A part of me wished I hadn't told him anything. I didn't really know him, not well enough to trust him with something this personal, this dangerous. And then there was the fact that he used to be friends with Sayjan. It made my stomach twist with uncertainty. What if he told him? What if this made things worse?

As I stood there, staring at the mark, I realized there was only one person who could make me feel safe. The only person I trusted completely, who had always protected me when we were younger—Armin.

I took a deep breath, straightened my sweater to cover the mark, and made my way out of the room. My footsteps were quiet as I walked down the hallway to the guest living room where Armin probably was. I paused at the door, feeling a pang of anxiety. I wasn't sure if this was the right time, but I needed him to know. I needed him to help me feel safe again.

I knocked softly before pushing the door open. 

"Armin?" I called out quietly.

Inside, I saw Armin sitting with a group of his friends. They were all wearing white thobes and Muslim hats, traditional attire that made them look unified and serene. The room was filled with the scent of chai, and a few of them held prayer beads, quietly murmuring their dhikr.

When I stepped in, I lowered my head in respect. 

"Salam aleykum," I greeted softly.

They all responded with a calm, "Wa aleykum salam."

Armin looked up, a gentle smile on his face. He excused himself from the group, setting his cup of chai down before standing up. He walked over to me, his smile fading as he noticed the look on my face. 

"Adma, what's wrong?"

I shook my head quickly, feeling the words choke up in my throat. 

"We can talk about it later," I managed to say. My voice was trembling despite my efforts to keep it steady.

Armin frowned, his eyes narrowing with concern. 

"Are you sure? Is everything okay?"

I nodded, forcing a small smile. 

"Yeah, it's fine. I just... I need to talk to you when you have time."

He hesitated for a moment, glancing back at his friends, then back at me. 

"Okay," he said softly. "Give me a few minutes, alright? I'll come find you."

I nodded again and turned away, closing the door behind me. My heart was pounding in my chest, but I felt a little lighter knowing that soon I would tell Armin. He would know what to do. He always did.