God's way

Part 30

Adma

The snow is falling so softly now, like the world is trying to hush everything around us. My breaths are uneven, still coming in shaky gasps, and my heart is still racing, but not from fear anymore. It's something else, something warmer, but I don't know how to feel about it.

Nabil's arms are tight around me, and the cold isn't as important anymore. His presence, the way he's holding me, is like a shield. It's like I'm not alone anymore, even though I never thought I'd need someone like him.

"I'm sorry," he whispers again, his voice shaky. "I should've been there sooner."

I shake my head, unable to say anything at first. What would I even say? I don't know how to feel anymore. I'm not sure if I should feel relief or still be consumed by everything I've gone through with Sayjan.

"I—I don't know what to do anymore, Nabil." My voice cracks as I finally speak. I can't stop the tears. I thought I was strong enough to deal with all of it, but I'm breaking. "I don't know who to trust."

He pulls me closer, his hands cradling my face gently, as though he's trying to hold the broken pieces together. "You don't have to do this alone, Adma. I'm here. I'll be here."

I try to calm myself down, but the thought of everything—Sayjan, the violence, the pain—just crashes into me all at once. "I trusted him," I whisper. "I really thought he was different."

Nabil's gaze softens as he brushes a strand of hair from my face. "He's not worth your pain, Adma. You deserve more than that. You deserve to be free, to be happy."

"I don't know if I can ever be happy again," I say, looking down at the snow beneath us. My heart feels heavy, like it's made of stone. "Everything is just... so broken."

"You're not broken," Nabil says firmly. "You're just hurting right now, but you're strong, Adma. You'll find a way through this. You've already come so far."

The warmth of his words wraps around me like a blanket, and for the first time in a long time, I feel a flicker of hope. Maybe he's right. Maybe there is a way forward. But it's still so hard to believe that after everything, after all the pain, I could ever find peace again.

The snow continues to fall softly around us, and for a moment, it feels like time has slowed down. Nabil's arms are still wrapped around me, but then something catches my eye. I feel something warm dripping, and my gaze drops to the snow beside me. The red stain spreads, and I blink in confusion, realizing it's blood.

I pull away from Nabil quickly, panic rising in my chest as I look at him. 

"You're bleeding," I say, my voice trembling. 

His nose is bleeding, and it's not just a little—it's streaming down, dripping onto the snow like it's trying to tell a story of something broken, something I can't fix.

Without thinking, I tear at the sleeve of my coat, using it to wipe the blood away. But before I can finish, Nabil grabs my wrist gently, his grip firm but calm. 

"Stop," he says softly, his eyes locking with mine.

I freeze, looking into his gaze, feeling an intensity I can't explain. His voice is serious, almost desperate as he says, 

"You've got to start worrying about yourself, Adma."

My heart clenches in my chest, and I look down at my wrist in his hand. I want to say something, but the words feel too heavy, too hard to find. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Nabil's words—his concern—cut through me like a blade.

"You need to heal, Adma, or else you'll die," he says, the weight of his words hanging in the air between us.

I look at him, unsure of how to respond. I feel lost. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of something, but I can't see where the ground is. How am I supposed to heal when everything in me feels shattered?