God's way

Part 27

As we walked through the mall, the sound of chatter and laughter filled the air, but I barely noticed. I was too focused on the warmth in my chest, the kind that had lingered ever since we left the ice rink. Nabil was walking next to me, and we were both laughing at the way he'd kept falling earlier.

"You've got to admit," I teased, nudging his arm, "you were like bambi out there."

He groaned dramatically, shaking his head. 

"You don't have to remind me every five seconds, Adma."

"But you were so determined!" I said through my giggles. "Like, 'Look, Khaled,' And then—bam!" I clapped my hands for emphasis, and we both burst out laughing again.

I felt light, almost giddy, like I hadn't in a long time. For once, I wasn't overthinking. I wasn't stuck in my own head.

That was, until it happened.

Samuel and Ryan suddenly stopped ahead of us, their faces lighting up as they called out in greeting.

"Yo, Sayjan!"

The name hit me like a slap. My stomach dropped, and my laughter died in my throat.

I froze, instinctively looking around before I saw him. Sayjan.

He was walking toward us with his friends, Ahmet and Osman. They looked just like I remembered—Ahmet with his cocky smirk, Osman with his stoic expression. And then there was Sayjan, leading the group like he always did, his presence filling the space around him.

My heart started pounding so hard I thought everyone would hear it.

No. Not now. Not here.

I didn't want to feel like this. I didn't want to feel weak every time I saw him. This was getting exhausting.

I told myself to stand tall, to stay calm. I couldn't keep running or hiding forever. So instead, I stayed where I was.

Sayjan made his way through the group, dapping up the boys one by one, his movements smooth, casual. But when he reached Nabil, something shifted.

The air felt heavy between them, the tension palpable.

Sayjan's eyes lingered on Nabil for a moment longer than necessary, his expression unreadable but sharp. I could see it in the slight stiffness of his shoulders, in the way his jaw clenched just slightly.

Nabil met his gaze, his face unreadable but steady.

And then, as if he couldn't help himself, Sayjan glanced at me.

His eyes—those eyes I used to know so well—landed on me for the briefest moment. Just long enough for me to feel the weight of them, the intensity behind them.

I felt my breath hitch, my heart racing even faster now.

Why did he always look at me like that? Like he wanted to say something but never did. Like he was angry, or hurt, or something I couldn't quite figure out.

I held my ground, though. I didn't flinch, didn't look away.

But inside, I was breaking all over again.

Ahmet and Osman didn't seem to notice the tension, or maybe they didn't care. They were laughing and joking, their voices loud enough to draw the attention of passing shoppers.

"Yo, you lot heading somewhere after this?" Ahmet asked, looking at Samuel.

"Maybe," Samuel replied with a grin. "You?"

They started talking, but I wasn't listening.

All I could focus on was the way Sayjan stood there, so close but feeling so far away. And the way my heart still reacted to him, no matter how much I wanted it to stop.