Cracked

Chapter 8

I decide to skip not only group, but dinner as well. I know that I made that promise with Asia and I should've been there to watch him eat or whatever but I just couldn't move. I was having a depressive episode or something, I don't know. But I skipped dinner.

I was laying in bed when Janice came in with night meds. I prayed that she had some PTSD pills for me. After finally talking about... it... for the first time, I was definitely having a bad night terror tonight. I knew the only way I was avoiding it was if Janice had pills for me.

When she entered, I sat up in bed. Janice noticed me and gasped sharply. "Daniel!" She exclaimed. "Aren't you supposed to be at dinner?"

I shifted uncomfortably and shook my head. "Couldn't face everyone."

Janice sighed and sat next to me on the bed. "Daniel, nobody knows what you told me today. Nobody is going to see you any differently then they do, alright? You don't have to lock yourself in your room and stare at the ceiling because you feel like you can't face everyone."

I smile and shrug. "I can't lock myself in. The doors don't have locks."

Janice smiles softly. I look into the med basket. "Oh, right. Your medicine, Daniel." Janice hands me my pill bottle... with the same amount of pills I always take. I give her a confused look. "Yes?" Janice asks.

"I... uhm... don't I get new meds? For my new... diagnosis?" I question timidly.

Janice gives me a sad and pitying look. "I'm sorry, Daniel, but diagnosis or not I can't give you any more medication until we discuss it with your mother on Saturday."

I pale. "But... what if she doesn't come?"

Janice gives me a reassuring smile and squeezes my shoulder. "Then we can call her and set up an appointment. It's alright, Daniel. You're going to get what you need, no matter how long it takes. I promise."

Without another word, Janice stands and exits. I'm not sure how long I can wait for what I need.

When Asia enters the room, I pretend to be asleep so he'll just leave me alone. Asia, of course, doesn't care in the slightest.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Asia huffs as he enters, pulling my blanket off of my body.

I shiver involuntarily. "What the hell do you think YOU'RE doing?!" I ask angrily, trying to grab my blanket back from him.

Asia is having none of it. "I promised you I would eat! I was finally taking a step in the right direction! And how do your repay me?! Not showing up for dinner! Who DOES that?!" Asia pouts, putting his hands on his hips.

"Look, Asia, I'm really sorry, I just--" I attempt.

"Don't you 'Look, Asia' me! What have you even been doing up here?! And don't you dare say sleeping or I will--"

I snap. "I'm sorry I'm so fucking depressed, Asia! And I'm sorry that after admitting shit I have literally not told anyone in my entire life to Janice in our one on one I felt like a load of shit! I didn't want to look at people because that's how fuckin' terrified I was of being judged! I was so damn vulnerable after that and you know what I was pretending to be asleep?! Because I didn't want to talk to anyone right now, alright?! Even you!" I yell, feeling horrible for screaming at my cookie dough roommate.

Asia tenses up. He has plenty of problems, but depression isn't one of them. He can't relate. "I... Uhm... I'm sorry, Daniel..."

"It's alright." I huff quietly, unable to stay mad at him. "Did you eat?"

Asia blushes, his eyes widening. "Wh-what?"

"I asked if you ate." I reiterate.

"You... care." Asia said, barely a mumble. It sounded like a question.