Cracked

Chapter 9

The days blur together until Saturday.

I thought my late night session with Asia would help somehow, but I was sorely mistaken. I mean, don't get me wrong, the entire next day I thought about how he would react if I just kissed him with no warning, but then the nightmares set in again. Worse then ever. But this time I didn't scream. I didn't wake anybody up. So it's just me, staring at the darkness, trying to calm myself down. Sometimes it's even more than one nightmare a night. I don't remember how I survived this before. I don't really understand how I'm surviving it now.

I had forgotten what it was like to hate sleeping, and hate being awake, and hate everything about myself. If there was anything to kill myself with in this house, I'd be long gone. Whether heaven is real, or I go straight to hell, anything would be better than this.

I don't talk in group anymore. Everyone is afraid of one on ones now. When asked a question, I shrug. I can tell that Janice is worried about me, but you know what? I don't even care.

I need my medication and I need it now. If my mom doesn't show up today, I'll kill her. Seriously. I feel like a fucking drug addict, waiting for medication like it's the only thing keeping me alive.

And it kind of is.

I woke up at 10:00 today, unusually excited. Asia is all dressed up in a black button down and jeans. It's fucking adorable. Which I don't notice, of course, because I have way more important things to deal with. I get dressed quickly and head downstairs, ready to help set up. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I feel a burst of energy this morning.

The parents can start coming at 11:30, but I know that mom won't be here until noon because that's what I told her on the phone.

Everyone was shocked that I wanted to help get the house ready for family day, but most of all Sabrina was. She smirked as I set the table and made a point of knocking a plate out of my hands "accidentally" as I walked by her. I'm surprised that she's helping too, to be honest. Sabrina doesn't strike me as a setting tables type. Janice brings out leaves so the table is two times as big as it was.

11:30 is upon us quicker than I expected. We all sit on the couch, dressed up in our Saturday best, waiting for the fateful moment when our parents ring that doorbell.

I'm actually pretty pumped to meet everyone's parents. I want to meet Africa, Asia's twin, and Gina's family. You'd have to be pretty exciting to raise someone like Gina. And I want to meet Marley's moms. Badly. I haven't ever met any middle aged gay people. Maybe it'll give me hope for the future or whatever.

So there we sit. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Knock knock.

Janice gets up to answer the door. Everyone quickly fixes their hair, poses, smiles. I think I even see somebody eat a breath mint.

It's Ty's parents. A tall, menacingly beautiful woman in a black sundress with a matching black sunhat. Her hair is golden and curly, reaching mid ways down her back. Her lipstick is the color of blood. Ty's father is even taller and more menacing. He's wearing a business suit, and an earpiece for his phone. He looks exactly like an older version of Ty. Hair black as coal, cat eyes... Scary cat eyes. They look at our scene on the couch. I hear Ty sigh dramatically.

Ty's mother's eyes wander to him. She gives a cold smile. "Tyler."

Ty rolls his eyes and stands up. He's wearing a pastel purple button down, tucked in, and khaki pants. "Mom."

Ty's father approaches Ty and gives him a brief hug. "It's good to see you, son."

They catch up with idle chit chat. Everyone else watches in aw. I'm sitting next to Marley, who leans over into my ear and fiercely whispers something unintelligible about how hot Ty's mom is.