Over the Edge [ Lupin x Evans ]

Chapter 22: Night talks

Lily, trying to be as quiet as a mouse, tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen. She only planned to take a sip of water to cool the feelings that were burning inside her. She needed to calm herself down. She didn't want to impose on Remus's hospitality or disturb anyone with noise. In times like these, even the slightest sound could stir everyone awake.

She padded quietly to the kitchen, but when she saw the lights in the living room, she paused for a moment. Remus was sitting in an armchair, wearing checkered pyjamas, reading a book. She also noticed a half-full glass of wine beside him, the same one they'd started earlier. Lily stared at the furrowed brow and the focused gaze that absorbed the words on the page. He seemed older, somehow, than his actual age. There was something about him, an energy that suggested maturity. She wondered what he must have gone through in his life to radiate that aura. This thought set her mind racing again, and though she couldn't organise her thoughts logically, she found herself admitting, in the deepest part of her heart, that she needed him more than she realised.

Unconsciously shifting from foot to foot, the floor creaked loudly enough that Remus immediately looked up, alert. Evans gave him a faint smile and quickly turned away, not wanting to interrupt him.

"Lily?" he asked, his voice slightly surprised. She turned on her heel, grimacing a little, but after a moment of hesitation, decided to return to the living room.

"I didn't mean to disturb you."

"You never disturb me," he said with a smile, setting the book down on the table before patting the seat beside him. He felt a little self-conscious, seeing her in her nightgown, with hair in disarray. He couldn't deny that she still looked beautiful.

"I can't sleep," she admitted with an apologetic smile.

"We'll take care of that." Remus got up and disappeared into the kitchen for a moment. She heard some shuffling and clinking, followed by the sound of a charm being cast. A few moments later, he returned, holding two mugs of warm milk with honey.

"My mum always says this drink is an amazing sleep aid," he said, handing her one of the mugs, to which she responded with a smile.

"But we're not allowed to use magic outside Hogwarts," she remarked, surprised.

"That's true, but since I help my mum, Dumbledore arranged for me to have permission from the Ministry."

Lily opened her mouth in surprise, but also in admiration. They sat in silence for a while, watching the fire crackle in the hearth. They sipped the delicious milk and sank deeper into their thoughts. Suddenly, Lily's voice broke the silence, laced with fear.

"You missed the exams!"

Remus lowered his head and nodded briefly.

"Unfortunately, but I don't regret it. Right now, my mum's health is the most important thing." His sombre gaze left her face. "We don't know how long it will be before she —." His voice faltered slightly, and before he could finish, Lily quickly placed her cold fingers on his warm, large hand. She lightly squeezed, entirely out of her control. At the same moment, she spoke with quiet strength.

"Whatever happens, you've got us — your friends and me," she assured him with a smile, looking into his eyes. However, he gently withdrew his hand and turned his gaze back to the fire. Despite that, a soft smile spread across his face, and Lily didn't feel hurt by it.

This wasn't the time to point out that he didn't fully trust her or consider her a friend. Lily knew her own heart, and she was certain that if she passed all the trials, they would eventually become official friends. Although she didn't fully understand his twisted thinking, she wasn't about to give up. Oddly enough, she found his strange approach kind of admirable. It gave her something to fight for, something to hope for. It pushed her to act and, at the same time, excited her.