Over the Edge [ Lupin x Evans ]

Chapter 17: Torn-up symbol

Lupin lay barely conscious on his bed in his private dormitory. Lately, he'd done absolutely nothing and was surrounded by a chaos of discarded clothes, socks, books, and rubbish from Honeydukes' sweets. Normally, mess irritated him, and he made a point of keeping his belongings in order. But last night had been a particularly gruelling full moon, and he felt awful. Thankfully, he hadn't sustained any major injuries — just a few bruises and scratches. Even so, he was exhausted and needed time to recover, even if it meant tolerating the infuriating clutter.

One of the worst things about lycanthropy was the complete lack of awareness during transformations. Werewolfs had no idea what they had done, where they had been, or what had happened. There were no memories, only the aftermath — marks on the body that might hint at the night's events, but only in the vaguest terms. This time, however, something seemed different. Remus felt more drained than usual. Had he run a marathon through the forest? Who could say? The fact remained that he was utterly lifeless, lying on the bed with hollow eyes, pale skin, and a weariness that made him look years older than his actual age.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. He didn't react, pulling the red blanket over his head with a faint groan. He hoped whoever it was would leave him alone. He didn't have the strength to deal with anyone.

"Lupin, I know you're in there. I can see the light under the door," called Lily Evans' clear voice.

Remus yanked the blanket down from his face and glanced at the door. Of course — it was Sunday. He'd agreed to a tutoring session with her. Letting out a heavy sigh, he wished he could escape the obligation.

"I'm not here!" he shouted towards the door before burrowing back under the blanket.

Unperturbed by his response, Lily opened the door with a quick "Alohomora" and walked in confidently. She stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening as she took in the mess. For a moment, she didn't even spot Remus under the blanket.

"So, this is how you plan to pass your Potions re-sit, innit?" she said, folding her arms. "I thought you were supposed to be the tidy one." When no reply came, she picked up the nearest book from the floor and lobbed it at him. It wasn't a light one.

"Ow! Thanks a lot," he growled, emerging from beneath the blanket, rubbing his ribs where the book had struck him. Lily stared for a moment, her expression softening. His pale face, the dark circles under the eyes, and the drawn, pained look gave her pause.

"Are you all right?" she asked, concerned.

"I feel as good as I look," he replied with a grimace.

She sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Well, don't think a bad attitude is going to scare me off, Lupin," she said, matching his grumpiness. "Should I go fetch Madame Pomfrey?"

He quickly shook his head, tensing as he realised how close she was sitting.

"No need. I'll be fine."

She gave a hesitant nod, then glanced around the room again. Her eyes landed on a familiar-looking wrapper, which she picked up with a smile.

"I told you chocolate works wonders."

"Not this time," he said with the faintest hint of a smile. "As you can see."

"It usually does. Unless..." Her eyes lit up. "What if you've eaten too much and you're having an allergic reaction? You mentioned that possibility once!" She reached out towards him. "Here, let me check your lymph nodes." Remus recoiled, but she was faster, her fingers brushing his neck as she tugged his shirt collar aside. His entire body tensed, but it was too late. Her eyes widened at the sight of the scratches criss-crossing his skin.

"Remus... your neck!" she exclaimed, horrified. The scratches weren't deep or serious, but the sheer number of them was unsettling.

"Someone was playing a prank..." he mumbled, grasping at the first excuse that came to mind.

"What, by turning your sponge into sandpaper?" she said indignantly. "You need to take care of this." She started looking around, as if expecting to find a first-aid kit hidden amongst the mess.

"Lily, calm down," he said tiredly, gently prising her hands off his collar. "It's nothing. I already cleaned it with an antiseptic potion."

She hesitated, then drew her wand and pointed it at his neck.

"Tergeo," she said firmly. The spell cleared away dried blood and any lingering dirt from the wounds. Satisfied, she lowered her wand and gave him a stern look. "You'll heal, but this room is another story," she said, her eyes sweeping over the clutter once more.

Before Lupin could muster a protest, she cast another spell. In an instant, the room transformed. Clothes folded themselves neatly and flew into drawers, books returned to the shelves in perfect alphabetical order — just as Lupin always kept them. The rubbish scattered across the carpet soared gracefully into the bin by the door. Within moments, the dormitory was spotless. Lily surveyed the now-pristine room with a satisfied smile.

"Now, where were we?" she asked, clapping her hands together cheerfully.

"Somewhere around you not needing to worry about me so much," Lupin muttered, sinking back into his pillow.

"If not me, then who?"

"I dunno — surely, you've got plenty of better friends to fuss over."

Lily let out a dismissive huff. When she noticed him clutching the blanket nervously in his hands, she smacked them sharply.

"Do you have any idea how annoying your philosophical whining is?"

"I have a fairly good idea."

"Then stop it. Accept that I'll worry about you if I feel like it," she said firmly, crossing her arms. Lupin looked at her sceptically. Once again, he wondered what her real motive was. Where had this sudden interest in him come from? Why? Was she really so lonely without Snape that she was trying to replace him with another friend?

A tense silence fell between them. Lily's eyes wandered across the room, and she spotted something out of place. A black bundle lay forgotten on the floor near the tall window. Curious, she stood and walked towards it. When Lupin realised what she'd noticed, he bolted upright, as though struck by lightning.

"Lily, maybe we should head down to dinner. It's getting late," he said hastily.

The last thing he wanted was for her to discover the ruined book. It hadn't been deliberate, but it was still his fault. He'd been working on a way to fix it, but she couldn't know — not when he'd promised to return it in pristine condition.

Lily ignored him. Kneeling down, she picked up the bundle and unwrapped it. Her breath hitched as she took in the state of her "Jane Eyre". The book, which she'd grown fond of, was in tatters. Pages were shredded as if slashed with a "Diffindo" charm. She pinched some of the fragments between her fingers, staring at them in disbelief.

"How could you?" she whispered, turning to face him with genuine hurt in her voice. Lupin stood frozen in the middle of the room, helplessness and regret etched into his weary face.

"Lily... It wasn't me. Well, it was, but... not like that!"

"You did it on purpose, didn't you? To push me away?" she accused, rising to her feet. Her green eyes flared with anger. "You just can't handle the idea I want to be friends with you, can you?" She wasn't just upset; she was furious.

"No! Please, believe me — it's not like that!"

"I should've known this was pointless," she said, more to herself than him. Her gaze dropped to the ruined book in her hands. "I was actually starting to like you." Her voice wavered, but she refused to meet his eyes. If she had, she would've seen the pain flickering in his honey-coloured ones.

"Lily, I'm sorry. Just give me a chance to explain — this was all..."

"You're just like the rest of them!" she snapped before he could finish. Turning on her heel, she stormed out of the dormitory, the door slamming shut behind her. She didn't want him to see her tears.

"...Peeves' fault," Lupin finished quietly to the now-empty room.