Ruth: Reimagined

Strength

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Strength
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Dark clouds gathered in the sky, and the wind blew through Naomi’s plain white dress.On the day they buried Elimelek, he was dressed in white, his body washed, and put into a casket. He was buried near a plot of land, in a cave, in Moab. 

Away from all his people, away from his land, his death was nothing but a pitiful event that happened to the Israelite family who moved in. All who showed up were Benesh and his family, Oholah, and a few other men who worked with Elimilek.

Naomi had gone mute. While all of them shared stories of Elimilek, Mahlon and Chillion, both holding in tears as they retold what their father meant to them, Benesh expressing his love, his hope and a few of the  men, telling of Elimilek's wonderful deeds.

“Mother,” Chillion had come to sit beside her when it was closing, and they all had to go home. “Don't you want to share your last words with your father?”

Last words...

Naomi shook her head.

Chillion's concerned face pressed her, to release herself from her mute state, and speak, scream, or yell.

The ceremony continued, closing off in prayer, and in a hymn, sung to the Lord. Mahlon had never felt so empty, singing. Naomi, in her silence, was the one to feel the first drop before the sky broke forth and poured rain on all of them, heavily. And in that moment,  while they all fussed over getting soaked, wanting to look for a cave to hide from the storm, Naomi couldn't help but feel, as she sat in the rain, soaked, cold, broken that these were her last  words  to her husband.

Although  days later, when laid on an unfamiliar bed, the darkness felt like it would consume her as she stared up at the ceiling.  Her chest hurt, like a choked sob was stuck in it, seeing as she still hadn't cried.

She thought of her last words, of wishing to have said something in that moment as Chillion had pressed her, knowing she would regret it. Sitting up, she released a shuddered breath, wrapping her arms around herself, and when she spoke, whispering  broken melodies into the atmosphere, the hurt only deepened.

"Elimililek…” Naomi began, her chest constricting. “You were a good man.  A really, really good man. In all my years of living I’ve never met anyone like you, and I  know…I never will.”

A terrifying silence overtook her. She stopped short in a breath as her words echoed back to her, 'I know I never will'.

Elimilek was gone. And there would be no thing, no person, no—anything, that would fill the hole in her heart that was once filled by his love.

“You were a man.” She broke through the dread that fell on her heart, her eyes still dry from tears, and that was shocking to her. “You—you were a man who loved the Lord with all your strength, with all your soul, with all your  heart. You loved…me. You loved me with all your strength, I know what that means now. And with all your  soul, and all of your heart, you loved me…and now you're gone…”

“You were my strength, and now it’s gone.”

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Waking up became a struggle for Naomi. She'd retire to bed early, sleep for long hours, and she'd wake up, absolutely exhausted, like life was drained from her. When she'd realized she was in an unfamiliar room, dazed, then the clarity came, and she  remembered how she decided against sleeping in the same bed Elimilek and her once shared.

It made no difference because for her, wherever she laid, Elimilek was always supposed to be right beside her.

"Mother..." she heard a distant call in the haze of her sleep. "Mother, wake up. Wake up, mother."