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Wait
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A constant tugging at the soul, always pulling, always, beckoning. Desire. Always there. It is a powerful thing. For Ruth, it was the cause of most of her pain. Too long, to yearn for something, for someone, she came to understand, was excruciatingly painfully.
It ate her up inside. It stole precious moments away from her because she'd be lost in this sense of emptiness.
"Wait," her mother once told her. "Wait, patiently, and painfully. Wait, hoping, and expecting. Wait, for your desires will be fulfilled, like the first drop of rain, in a famished ridden land."
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Chillion turned on his side of the bed, mumbling something in his sleep. Darkness covered the room. There was safety in that. Orpah laid awake on her back.
She placed a hand on her stomach, feeling the phantom flutter. Could it be? No. But the thought refused to leave her mind.
Was it real this time? No, it couldn’t be. But then, why the nausea? The ache? She wasn’t imagining it—or was she? Every twinge felt like proof. Every silence screamed doubt.
She pressed her hand against her stomach, and her eyes fluttered shut.
"I need an anchor,"she whispered, to herself, breaking out of her consuming thoughts.
She was reminded of the conversation she'd had with Ruth years ago about their anchor, simply being— hope.
"Hope," Orpah uttered, her heart thudding. Tears almost stung her eyes.
She sat up. Slowly, she left the bed, Chillion turned to his other side, she breathed easier, when she saw he was still sleeping. She left the room, gently closing the door behind her, knowing what she had to do.
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Mahlon's arms were thrown over her. He slept like he wanted her off the bed. Gently, she pushed him to his side. She tossed and turned. Restless.
Lying on her back, Ruth stared up at the ceiling. The silence was loud. She placed her hand on her bare stomach. Flat.
Hollow.
Exhaling, she closed her eyes.
"I know..."she whispered into the night, like she had done for the last three months. "I know that... right now is not time but my heart. My heart does not understand."
Her throat tightened. She restrained herself from even shedding tears. If Mahlon were to wake up–no. She strengthened herself.
"I will wait for you," she said, rubbing her baby. "I will wait. This is all just too painful for your mommy. I have a whole heart to love you already but...still you're not here."
She couldn't bear to say more. In the silence, while her throat tightened, the pressure building in her chest, she held in her tears, she strengthened her soul, and held on to hope.
The door creaked open. Ruth's heart jolted. She sat up and squinted her eyes in the dark.
"Ruth," Oprah whispered. "Ruth, are you awake?"
Ruth stepped off the bed and met Orpah by the door. She could barely see her face in the dark. Holding the young woman's shoulders, she spoke.
"Orpah? What's going on? Why are you awake?"
" I need to talk to you. Can we go someplace else?"
Ruth looked back. Mahlon was still sleeping at a concerning angle, taking up almost all the space in the bed.
YOU ARE READING
Ruth: Reimagined
Roman d'amour"I want you to belong to someone Ruth." Adira said, her voice softer. "I want you to be able to breathe in a world where everything is placed on a woman's chest, on her back and tied to her legs and then she's told to be beautiful, to be good enoug...
