Healing Takes Time

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I woke up first at the buttcrack of dawn. I wouldn't have normally known this, but there was a window literally right above my head. The world was tinted blue and I could only see black silhouettes of trees.

You know how in books when people always mention how they didn't know where they were when they woke up for a moment before it all comes rushing back to them? Yeah, that never happens to me. I, unfortunately, didn't have a moment of ignorant bliss before I remembered all the shit that happened last night. I also, fortunately, remembered what happened after that. My emotions were currently mixed. Why was being a hormonal teenager so hard?

I wanted to leave before anybody else woke up, but I figured that it was going to be difficult, what with the way Marco and I were positioned. Somehow we'd moved during the night so I was mostly on top of him with our legs intertwined, my head above his strongly beating heart, and me clutched to him with his arms around my waist. I had to say, it was pretty comfy. A guy could get used to this.

I lifted my head and looked at Marco's face. He was out cold. His mouth was hanging open, and he was even snoring softly. I could see most of his freckles in the morning light. It made me want to count them.

One, two, three...

What time was it? I didn't even know. I wasn't very good at using the light either. I wasn't exactly good with nature.

... ten, eleven, twelve...

Did my parents know that I was gone? Did they care? Most of me was sure that Mom did, but I wasn't sure about Dad. I doubted Connie knew the difference between not seeing me all night and me being out of the house all night. Mikasa probably didn't care either way, and I wasn't sure about Eren.

... twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight...

How long was I welcome here? Marco's family seemed really nice, and I was pretty sure that they wouldn't be able to outright tell me to get out, but that didn't mean I wanted to overstay my welcome. Shit, I'd just sleep on the dock if it led to that.

... thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two...

At thirty-seven I gave up. "Jesus, Marco. You have a shit ton of freckles," I muttered. He didn't even twitch. Some hair was over his eyes, so I reached up and brushed it back off of his face. He murmured something unintelligible and shifted his head around. A soft smile worked its way onto my face.

I let myself look for only a few more moments before I pulled away slowly so as not to wake him up. I was really clumsy at getting up, especially since I had to crawl over him to get off the bed because of the wall.

Getting out without being heard was surprisingly easy. These people slept like rocks. Bertholdt didn't give any indication that he'd heard me when I opened the bedroom door even though it creaked. The front door was easy to open, thank God. I slipped my shoes on--when did I take those off?--and slipped outside.

The sun had risen some more. Soft,pale colors were coming from behind the cabin. It was quite peaceful actually, and I'm not the sentimental type. I almost wanted to take a picture. Almost.

I reached into the pocket of my jeans to fish out my phone and was really confused when I didn't have any pockets. I looked down and realized that I was still wearing the pajama pants they'd given me. And I'd left my phone at my own cabin. Wow, how stupid could I get?

I sighed. I guess I'd just have to give them back after I got my own clothes again, whether it be from Petra or the cabin. Not wanting to go back to my family, I walked down and sat on the edge of cabin one's dock. I rolled the bottoms of the pants up, took my shoes off, and stuck my feet in the water. It was nice and cold.