Healing Takes Time

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

We stayed in bed for another fifteen or twenty minutes while I gathered strength. Mom went downstairs with the promise of breakfast once she heard my growling stomach. She also told us not to worry because she wasn't using the stove or oven in any way, shape, or form.

I was only half joking when I sighed with relief.

I sat on the couch next to Marco, Pop Tart in hand while he was grazing on some strawberries and fruit dip. Mom sat at the table with a bowl of cereal. Eren and Mikasa had gone outside to swim I assumed Dad and Connie were on the lake too.

"You wanna go water skiing later on?" Marco asked.

I broke off a piece of Pop Tart and offered it to him. He shook his head. I popped it in my mouth and chewed before swallowing. "Water skiing, huh? Never done it before."

"You haven't?" He looked at me. "It's pretty fun once you get the hang of it."

"Actually," Mom chimed in, "you might not get to this morning. We were going to go to Lake Itasca."

"Oh." I looked back at Marco. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged a little. "They have it tomorrow morning too. Maybe you can come then?"

I looked at Mom hopefully, and she gave us a small smile. "I'm sure it'll be okay if you do."

I smiled some too. "Thanks."

Her smiled turned softer, and she nodded.

Marco and I finished our breakfasts before heading outside to swim for a little bit before I had to go. He was in my other swim trunks again, and I had to say, he definitely put the original swimsuit model to shame. I could imagine Marco as a pool boy, to be honest. Skin a glorious dark shade, freckles dotting his skin, muscles highlighted by the sun...

"Jean, are you okay?"

I blinked several times and really looked at him again. "What? Yeah. I'm fine."

Marco looked like he was hiding a grin. "Really? Cause you're drooling."

"I fucking am not," I protested but reached up and surreptitiously wiped at my mouth. Shit, he wasn't kidding.

He was grinning when I looked at him.

"Oh, shut up," I told him, not without affection.

He laughed, and the sound brought a small smile to my face. He really was gorgeous. Especially when he smiled; when he laughed. He was his own little sun, and I was a planet being sucked into his orbit.

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that yet.

"Hurry up, slowpoke," he said as he pulled a kayak into the water.

"Calm your tits. I'm coming." I pulled my kayak into the water and discarded my life jacket onto the sand. I knew I should've been wearing it, but I knew how to swim. I was a big boy now.

He looked up at me. "Come faster."

I bit my lip to prevent a grin from engulfing my face. "That's what she said."

He pointedly ignored me.

As I was pulling my kayak into the water I realized for the upteenth time how many rocks there were and gritted my teeth to keep from groaning. I could suck it up. Besides, the rocks were already thinning out from how far out we were, though that almost made it worse.

The two of us got on our respective kayaks and started paddling out to the middle of the lake. I let my head fall back and closed my eyes when we were taking a small break. Today really was a beautiful day. There were a shit ton of puffy clouds in the air, and birds sang and chirped. The water wasn't choppy, but it had some movement to it. There was a light breeze that made the longer parts of my hair fly around.

My eyes opened when our kayaks bumped into each other. When I looked at Marco he smiled and gestured as if asking if I wanted to keep going, but he seemed a bit flustered: a slight blush dusting his freckled cheeks and avoiding eye contact. I looked at him curiously, and he blushed a little bit more before starting to paddle again.

I followed, and we went out a little further before stopping again. He rested his paddle across the front of his kayak, and I followed suit. I shifted around to try and get some blood to my butt and sat up straighter to fix a twinge in my back. The two of us let our legs dangle off the sides into the water.

A small part of me wanted to pull back. Who knew what was in that water? I remembered a few pictures I'd seen on the walls in the lobby. One picture had the lake drawn out with the depth charted out. Another one had all the types of fish in the water carefully drawn out, and let me tell you, some of those sons a bitches had teeth like you wouldn't believe. I figured the big fish with teeth lived out closer to the middle of the lake, and we were pretty far out. Just imagining those jaws grabbing onto my ankle...

I shook my head. I was being dumb. It wasn't like they were going to come up from all the way down there. And out of all the things, I highly doubted that it would want to eat me. But I guess it still scared me a little, and that was okay. It wasn't like I would die from it if I actually did get hurt. It would certainly be a pain in the ass, but I would get through it. It might take me a while to actually put my feet back in the water, but I was sure I would be able to do it.

And maybe I wasn't really thinking about the fish anymore. Maybe I was thinking about my relationship with Dad. It hurt, but it wasn't the end of me. Someday I might be able to put my feet back in the water, so to speak. That day certainly wasn't going to be today. But for all I knew, it could be tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month.

Maybe I wasn't even thinking about Dad. Maybe I was thinking about life itself. Life hurts, but every single day I end up jumping right back in.

I wasn't sure exactly what I was thinking, but one thing was for sure. The fish weren't the most dangerous thing in the waters. The most dangerous thing was looking at me with a bright smile and a spray of freckles covering him all over because I knew that out of the all the things that could possibly chew me up and spit me out, he would be the one I'd want to do it, and I'd happily let him do it over again and again.  

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I didn't expect this chapter to get deep but oh well. My fingers do what they want. Especially when I'm listening to good music. I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. ^w^

--Shelby