Healing Takes Time

Chapter 29

Hi, I know it's short and kinda sucky, and it may even seem like a filler--shit, it probably is--but I wanted to get something written down and published for you guys. 

--Shelby

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Chapter 29

I didn't get calmed down. I fell asleep bawling my eyes out. Marco kept comforting me, and that helped. I leaned against him, let him be my steady sky while the ground beneath me seemed like it was crumbling. To my surprise, the twins crawled into bed with us. Eren saw me crying like a little bitch and started comforting me too. Mikasa came over also. She was awkward, but she rubbed my back and tried to help. They kept asking questions, and Marco answered them the best he could.

I couldn't help but repeat everything that was said over and over in my head and condensed until it was like a broken record.

Rein it in.

Coddled.

Depressed.

Control emotions and mouth.

Feelings.

Fragile.

Trying.

Rein it in.

Coddled.

Depressed...

I don't know when I fell asleep, but when I woke up, light was streaming in through the windows brightly, so I knew it was later in the morning. The twins were curled up by mine and Marco's feet with their own pillows, talking amongst themselves quietly. My head ached, and my eyes were really dry. I rubbed my eyes and got all the dry, crusty stuff out of them and off my cheeks.

I looked up to find Marco still asleep. His arms were wrapped around me protectively, and I was tucked to his chest. He mumbled in his sleep and shifted his head around.

I let my head drop to his chest. Why did he have to be here when this happened? Why couldn't my parents have waited until we got home to say all that shit? I mean seriously. Is it so much to ask to wait until I'm in my room and out of earshot to say all that?

"Are you okay?" I lifted my head and looked down towards my feet. Eren and Mikasa were looking back at me. It was Eren that spoke. He looked serious for once.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." No, I wanted to blurt out. I'm not. Does it look like I'm okay? Cause I'm not. How does somebody recover from something like this?

Mikasa pursed her lips a little like she wasn't buying my act.

I felt movement around me, and Marco's eyes started opening. If I was in a better mood, I would've admired how his eyes looked bigger, and he just looked cuter in general. He saw that I was awake, and his hold on me tightened, forcing my head back to his chest, not that I was complaining. "Jean. I am so s--"

"Don't," I said in a flat voice. "Just... don't."

There was a pause, and I could tell he was torn between wanting to do what I said and wanting to do what he's been taught to do. In the end, I won out. He sighed. "Okay."

I felt some of the tension leave, and I pressed my forehead to his shoulder. Almost automatically he started rubbing my back in a comforting way. I wanted to tell him that I appreciated it, but I just couldn't find the energy to make the words come out.

"Is anybody else here?" Eren asked nobody in particular.

I felt movement and looked up as Mikasa stood up and tugged on his wrist. "Come on. We'll go check."