Healing Takes Time

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Marco sensed my unease and tugged on the edge of my shirt. "I can go with you if you want," he said softly.

We were standing behind his cabin, looking at the cabin my family was in. Marco had agreed to help me with figuring out what happened with Hanna.

"I don't think I'll be very much help," he'd said.

I'd kissed the top of his head. "Nonsense."

After that, we'd gone inside his cabin again. Everybody was still asleep, and he'd told me that he and his whole family were really heavy sleepers. My clothes were still in a pile in the bathroom, but they were dry. I'd slipped them on.

I hooked him around the neck and kissed his forehead. "No, I'll be fine."

He looked into my eyes. I knew that he could see the unease that I was doing a shitty job of hiding. I bit my lip and told myself that I could do this--I didn't need him to hold my hand. And besides, I wouldn't want him to be there if we started yelling at each other.

"I'm okay," I said, and it wasn't my imagination that my voice cracked. Damn.

He still looked concerned. In an attempt to convince him as much as myself, I pushed my lips onto his. His eyes fluttered shut just before mine did. We weren't lip-locked for long, but it was certainly long enough for me to tug on his bottom lip and him to blush furiously. Turns out that I really like it when my hair gets pulled.

"I'm okay," I repeated.

"You're okay," he echoed. "Just... tell me how it went, okay? And you know that you can stay over again."

"I will, and thanks again for letting me crash."

He smiled. "Of course."

I pulled away. "I should get this over with."

"You should." His eyebrows furrowed, and he pulled me into a tight hug before he finally left. I took another deep breath before I headed to the cabin.

The God damned door was jammed. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I hissed. I was just about to push the door open when it swung open. I was met by a pair of seriously pissed off eyes. For some reason, it reminded me of something that I hadn't thought of for a long time.

When I was eight, Mom let me hold the twins. Now looking back, I could've told myself that it was a shitty idea. Especially holding them both at the same time. I was sitting on the couch, thank God, so when Eren squirmed, and I panicked, he only fell to the couch. Even then, Mikasa seemed a bit pretentious, and she made a sound as if to tell Eren that he was stupid for moving and me that I was stupid for even trying to hold him.

Mom had swooped in and picked both of them up right away. Dad was already in my face, reprimanding me for nearly dropping my brother on the floor. I was crying from how scary he looked, and Mom was trying to get him to calm down. When I think of his face now, I realize that there was more fear in his eyes than anger.

It was the same now. Everything about him read PISSED from his tense shoulders to his tight fists, but he couldn't hide the fear in his eyes. Was that for me? Was he scared that I'd left the night before? I scoffed internally. Hell would have to freeze over before he was worried about me.

He didn't say anything for a good five minutes. We just stared each other down. I noticed Mom in the doorway of hers and Dad's room. She looked like she wanted to run up to us and do something, but either she didn't know what to do, or she knew that she would just be delaying the inevitable.

"Do come in," he said frostily, but there was an edge to it. It was that damned fear again.

He stepped to the side, and I walked in stiffly. He shut the door behind me, and we continued to stare. He was the one to break the silence. "What the hell?"