Healing Takes Time

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

We finally got up out of the grass and made our way back to the lake. We didn’t hold hands, but we walked close enough together that our arms brushed against each other most of the time, causing goosebumps to rise on my arms and shoulders. It was so worth it.

Marco bumped his shoulder with mine. “I can’t believe tomorrow is the last day,” he wondered aloud.

“Mm,” I agreed. “Lot has happened.” I bumped his shoulder back.

I turned my head to see him smiling down at me. “Do you think we still would’ve met? Like, if we hadn’t met here?”

I chewed on my lip thoughtfully. “I’d like to think so, but the world isn’t like that.”

He hummed contemplatively. “I like to think we would’ve,” he said, snagging my pinky with his fingertips. “I think I was meant to meet the pale, sarcastic, troubled Jean.”

“Gee, thanks,” I muttered.

He laughed lightly and squeezed my finger. “Oh, come on. You know I wouldn’t change any of those things about you. You wouldn’t be Jean Ackerman if you weren’t sarcastically cynical.” He swung our arms between us. “Or pasty white. No, paper white. No, no, no--neon white!”

“What?” I asked in disbelief, the amusement obvious in my tone. “What the hell kind of color is that?”

“Neon white! It’s the whitest white ever!’

I snorted. “Rude. I thought boyfriends were supposed to be nice.”

He looked at me shyly with a blush painting his cheeks. “I like it when you say that,” he murmured quietly.

“Say what?” I inquired, raising an eyebrow.

He kicked his shoes off, and I did the same. The setting sun made his blush look darker than it actually was. “S-say that. You know… that.”

I chuckled. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”

He looked at me through his eyelashes. He’s beautiful, I thought, but it wasn’t that he was just beautiful in the way he looked. Yeah, he had the body of a Greek god. And yes, his face was fucking adorable with all those freckles and that button nose and that God damned smile, but he was more than that. He was beautiful for the way he thought, the way he was. He always seemed to see me. It was like I didn’t even have to bother with putting up a facade because he saw right through me to the parts that I was too scared to see myself. Instead of tearing down my walls by force, he seemed to have found a hidden door and waited patiently on the other side of it until I was ready to open it on my own terms. He was the human embodiment of patience. He was sweet and kind and understanding and even sassy when he wanted to be--the perfectly unique combination of these characteristics that made him him.

“I like it when you call me that,” he mumbled.

“What, rude? Cause you are. The rudest. Rude, crude, and with attitude.”

He smiled softly. “No. The other thing.”

“The other…” I trailed off, wracking my brain for what I’d said. What did I say? Fuck, I could barely remember my name half the time. How was I supposed to remember what I’d said when I wasn’t quite paying attention. Finally, something jumped out at me. “Ohh…”

“Yeah.” He glanced down sheepishly at the water. He looked so cute then.

You’re beautiful.

“Boyfriend,” I murmured quietly.

He looked back up, and the corner of his mouth tipped up. “Yeah, that,” he replied just as quietly. He snagged his bottom lip between his teeth.

I grabbed one of his hand in both of mine. “Marco, you’re my boyfriend.” I nodded for some reason. “You’re my boyfriend, and you’re beautiful.” I brushed my thumb over his cheek. “So beautiful.”

He blushed more. “B-beautiful my butt.”

“Oh, don’t worry. That’s beautiful too,” I assured him with a grin.

“Jean!” he groaned, but he was grinning like an idiot. “M’not beautiful. That’s… that’s crazy! Do you have sun poisoning or something? It looks like this week is the most sun you’ve gotten in three years.”

“Asshole,” I grumbled, jabbing him in the belly, but he wasn’t wrong. “It’s totally true. It might be crazy, but have you ever seen yourself? You’ve got to be the most beautiful thing ever. Your soul is beautiful.”

At that, he promptly turned beat red and denied it up and down, swearing that he wasn’t anything special, just Marco. I wasn’t having any of it. I felt that it was my personal duty to make sure he knew just how wonderful he was. We went further into the lake, going back and forth about the topic of his gloriousness. I won, for the record.

We stayed out as long as we dared, kissing under the dock, splashing each other, enjoying our time in the sun. We even helped Connie and Sasha build a sandcastle--it was rather shitty, mind you. The day ended with more ice cream in the lodge while we listened to Armin and Eren tell us about their day with Mikasa interjecting every once in awhile.

The three of them raced ahead to our cabin while Marco and I took our time following them. His fingers were laced with mine. I’d always wanted to be independent and in control, bigger, but I found myself loving how Marco’s hands were bigger than mine. I couldn’t say that our palms fit together perfectly, but it was pretty damn close.

Fireflies danced around in the grass, and we paused to watch them for a moment. Everything seemed peaceful, like there was no rush.

“Come on, Marco!” Armin yelled from the stairs of the cabin, his hands waving wildly in the air. “Mom wants us home.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he called back, amusement obvious in his voice.

He stayed with me until we reached my front door. I felt like a teenage girl being dropped off after a date. It was weird, but I didn’t hate it. I closed my eyes as he dropped a soft kiss to my forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he murmured against my hair.

I nodded and let his hand go. “Tomorrow.”

He pulled back and held my jaw for a moment, looking straight into my eyes. The corner of my mouth twitched up, and he smiled back before leaving with Armin. I watched them leave. A content feeling curled up in the pit of my stomach, and for the first time, I wondered if I was falling for him.

* * *

Oh my gosh, guys, hi! I hope you had a great Christmas--if you celebrate it, that is--and I wish you a happy new year!

--Shelby