Evangeline (Unedited)

23

A W A L K I N T H E P A R K
(Guys... what's going on....)

Our feet were stepping against the pavement, an equally strained silence replacing the once loud conversation between Leo and Noah. I was content just listening, giggling when I thought something was funny, and answering simple questions from Leo—or broody ones from his twin. Cars drove by us, honking sang in the distance, people passed us, and there was so much going on. Both of the boys were slightly ahead of me, but sometimes one of them would look back to check that I was still following along. I was, much to my dismay. My thighs were rubbing together, creating an awfully painful sensation. And my calves were aching. I couldn't wait to sit.

"Finally." Noah groaned as we approached the entrance to Central Park.

I was amazed that this was normal for them. It felt like a vacation to me. The permanence was out of reach, I would never acquire a home near this place, or one like theirs, if it weren't for them.

Nature has always been something really special to me though, which is why I had a hard time continuing to walk behind them when all I wanted to do was pause and enjoy it. The trees created shelter from the sun, branches of leaves hanging over ahead, dancing in the subtle breeze. The bushes and wildflowers planted in the ground surrounding the paths, bright green grass sitting underneath the people that ventured into the depths of the park too. The gentle rustling around me created a perfect backdrop for peace to flood my body, replacing my usually intense, overwhelmed one.

"How about over there?" Leo points to a shady spot away from the people already over there. A

A dog was chasing a ball of leash, a woman was reading a book on a weathered old bench, everybody was minding their own business. I smiled at the thought. I wished I brought my headphones with me. I would have loved to listen to music as I observed the world. Unfortunately, Leo and Noah were quicker than I when getting ready, therefore I had to sacrifice my happiness to keep up. Noah agrees and they both turn to me.

"Evie?" Leo wonders.

"That's good with me." I nod and follow them yet again.

I hadn't noticed both of them brought their own blankets. Leo laid out a brown blanket, Noah laid out a red checkered one, and both of them sat down. Noah leaned back on his hands, rolling his neck and sighing happily. I cursed myself for not bringing my own. I would be fine without one. I was used to grass-stained knees and imprints of each pebble and blade on my legs, the comforting, familiar itch tickling me while I sat. I would have been happy sitting on the ground, but apparently, they weren't okay with it.

"What are you doing?" Noah asks me like I am crazy.

"Erm... sitting?" I say, not sure what he wanted. I hesitate as I continue to lower myself, ignoring their judgemental stares.

"On the ground?" Leo adds, and they make eye contact.

I pretended not to notice, my cheeks now red from the shameful crime it felt like I was committing. I know they don't mean to, and I know sometimes I read too much into what people say and do, but the Angelos family was very good at making me feel weird. Inferior. They not only were legitimately all bigger than me—even if just by a smidge like the twins—but they were bigger than me in how they acted too. The way they speak, the way they dress, the way they don't question themselves half as much as I do. I knew that their fears and their worries ran just as deep as mine, that there were things they had to bear that I didn't know about and maybe never would, but no matter how much I tried to close the gap between my own inferiority and them, I couldn't let it go.

"Yeah. I didn't bring a blanket, so..." I shrug, pulling my sweater underneath my butt before I plop down.

"Don't be an idiot. Go sit with Leo." Noah sits with his knees up, arms resting on them as he scrolls on his phone.

I don't make a move, which makes him look up from his phone and at me.

"What?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to. But my blanket is big enough for both of us. And I don't want you to be uncomfortable." Leo eased Noah's frustration with me by speaking, and I inwardly thanked him.

I nodded and reluctantly crawled over to his blanket, adjusting myself so I was taking up as little space as I could. I cursed myself for crawling, and not getting up and walking over like a normal person, but I managed to avoid the anxious tunnel-vision by refocusing on my surroundings.

Leo lays down, hands behind his head as he closes his eyes. Noah continues to scroll on his phone, and I bite my cheek, sitting crisscross. I could see boats paddling by in a nearby river and smiled at one of the couples who were flicking their paddles at one another, getting each other wet. I watched as birds flew around, pigeons picking at trash people left. That made me frown. I looked around closer areas to where we were sitting, and zoned in on a pile of trash in a little bag. It was practically 5 steps away from the garbage can. I had nothing better to do, so I stood up, making the boys watch me intently. Leo looked concerned, and Noah looked confused. Or annoyed. I don't know, he's hard to read. Sometimes he speaks like he's happy but his face is still glaring, sometimes his face is sad or worried but his words are just angry. I wondered if his anger was a shield.

I quickly walked to the plastic bag and then further to the garbage can, tossing it inside. I smiled at my good deed, feeling oddly proud of myself. I was usually too lazy. I guess I was feeling awkward enough to take any opportunity to move. I turned around, my eyes immediately searching for our spot, though it wasn't even far I just lost sight and almost panicked.

"Evangeline?" Someone says from behind me.

I stop in my tracks and turn quickly, coming face to face with... a stranger.

"Sorry?" I mutter, confused about how she knew me.

She had short brown hair, just above her shoulders. She wore sunglasses and her clothes were baggy. They looked comfortable, and if I didn't have a gut-wrenching, penetrating feeling bubbling inside of me, I would've complimented her.

"Evangeline, right? That's your name?" She repeats.

I opened my mouth to say yes, but one glance back at the boys, who were fully sitting up, glaring hard at her, made me rethink my decision.

"Sorry. You must have the wrong person." I lie. I didn't show it, but I was shocked at how easily that came out. Maybe I wasn't such a bad liar when it mattered.

"Oh." She nods, stepping back. I hear the sound of footsteps behind me. "I swear you look like someone I know. What's your name then?"

I can feel my stomach churn and my heart beat quicker than it has in a really long time. I forced the tears away not wanting to betray myself, but suddenly I just felt nauseous. What was taking Leo and Noah so long?

"Um," My vision flits to something behind her head; a girl in a violet t-shirt. "Violet."

"Oh. Beautiful name." She looks behind me, and before even saying goodbye, rushes off. She disappears past a crowd of people surrounding a talent act, and I watch in relieved confusion.

I feel a tug on my arm and look at Noah, whose face is red and nostrils are flared. His nails were digging into my bicep as he stared at her too. Leo looked less enraged, rather he was scared. He looked me over before grabbing my hand and pulling me down the small hill to the sidewalk. We retreated the way we came, and every time I tried to look back, Noah made sure to stand in my eyeline. Eventually, I gave up looking, able to ignore the weird behavior. He was always weird, I think.

But what I couldn't ignore, what I couldn't shake, was the feeling of someone watching me.