Evangeline (Unedited)

08

E M B A R R A S S M E N T
(1K, what the heck?! Thank you guys :) Apologies for the lack of updating—my cat is sick and I've been super busy on top of that. Enjoy the chapter!)

When Tommy told me to "wear something cute", I expected I'd be able to conjure something out of the lack of clothes I was able to bring with me. But now, I sit on the floor of the room, head in my hands as I debate my entire life.

I wanted to impress these boys so bad. I wanted them to like me, and I wanted to not totally embarrass myself, although my hopes for that are slimmer by the second. I ended up just heading to the bathroom—careful not to run into anybody—and getting a bit more freshened up and prepared for the dinner, so that I could at least have that done and just come back to the clothes when I could.

I didn't have makeup, so unfortunately I couldn't put any on, though I would have loved to cover up my puffy eyes and the dark circles under my eyes. I have always wanted to wear makeup--even mascara, or blush--but my mother always said it made me look trashy. That I shouldn't ruin my face with it. She said it made me look insecure because only insecure people wear makeup, they have ugly faces to cover up or make look better. Which was funny, kind of, because that would be fitting for myself.

I smiled into the mirror, trying to practice how I would greet all of the new guys. I wish Elio could be here to give me advice, to tell me what I am doing right and wrong. I had never been good at socializing or meeting new people. It's always been harder for me than others, and I never really knew why.

Girls in my class wouldn't come near me most of the time. I would sit alone at lunch and just stare at the popular kids tables wishing I had even the slightest bit popularity or friends like them. The only time I ever really did was with Elio and his friends. Or, at least I thought so. After he died, none of them spoke to me again. Just looked at me, or sent me pitiful smiles in the hallway. But they didn't talk to me.

I hated being so lonely, but I did get used to it. I learned to find comfort in my lonesome. After all of the whispers from my peers and the stares when the news of my brother started being spread around like it was a joke, during lunches I began to sit in the art room, even though I wasn't technically supposed to, and read whilst my art teacher painted or set up for his next classes. If it weren't so weird, I would claim him as my only friend. Mr. White was a kind, young teacher. He always asked if I was okay, and told me that I wasn't supposed to be in any classrooms during lunch but out with the other students in the cafeteria, yet would open the door wider so I could come inside. I felt safe with him. And when my mom stopped acting like my mom and my dad died and my step-dad didn't stray too far behind my mom, it mattered to me. It was nice having someone care for me, even if he was being paid to. Anyway, at home--if I wasn't grounded--I would sit outside for hours and garden. I'd plant flowers and vegetables and talk to them instead. The good thing about it was that I could talk about anything and it didn't matter because they couldn't tell anyone anything; all of my secrets and feelings were one hundred percent secret.

I pulled open the white bathroom door and looked both ways down the hallway, my eyes glancing out the window at the end of it. I drew closer as my eyes followed the couple of new strangers--presumably my brothers--helping Alessandro set up.

I feel a hand grace the small of my back and jump, whipping around.

While I had never met him, I am familiar with who I am looking at.

"Evie." Leo smiles at me, having to look down slightly. "I'm Leo, your youngest brother."

"Oh, hi, I'm, um, Evie," I stutter out, my eyes kind of wide. "But.. you already know that."