Louis
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on her head. The bartender sees this and asks her why. The pirate replies, "Arr, I've got a bounty on my head."
Harry
husband & wife get in an argument. Wife runs to the marriage license and stares at it. Husband asks, What are you looking for. Wife says, The expiration date!
Niall
"Why do we drink milk? Who was the first person who looked at a cows udder and thought I'm gonna drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze them?"
Liam
Sex with men is like fishing: The small ones you throw back. The good-sized ones you take home for dinner, and The big ones you mount.
Zayn
A pirate walks into a bar, & bartender says "You've got a steering wheel attached to your fly. "The pirate nods & says ", I know, it's driving me nuts."
~CHICALOCAOUFF1
