LIFE EDUCATION SERIES 1: Person With Disability

CHAPTER FOUR: Living In a Chaotic Family

Have you ever experienced the wrath of your parents? For me, yes, everyday. Almost every single hour and minute, they have something to yap about. They have something to get angry about, too. Crazy right?

They placed all their anger on me and on each other. This really is a chaotic life despite them always listening to God's words and the online masses of different priests, as pure catholics. But the sad reality is that, they listen to God's words but they do not put them into action.

When they vent their anger at me, at first I still am very calm. I don't listen to them too much. But when I am already frustrated because of my busy life, plus they start yapping a lot, I might explode like a time bomb. I tried it once, and sure enough, I shouted, almost broke our table before the kitchen area, and also broke down and cried. My body shaking uncontrollably and my mind ran wild.

I almost did something unhealthy to myself. Good thing my mother calmed me down. I almost even had a stroke because of how serious it was. They were really and repeatedly blaming me for the things I did not do. I got so irritated and the above-mentioned thing happened.

I don't want to do that again so I do try my hardest to not listen to them so much and not mind them and so I am a bit calm. But lately, they are pushing my trigger button again. I really cannot help myself sometimes, so I also talk back at their yapping.

I am only human and the only son of the family. Everything is vented into me. Their anger, their stresses, their pressures, and their personal grudges, I take all of them in my own hands. I really get super tired and drained so this is the reason why I write.

I write to express how I feel and escape the realities of life for a bit. Am I still normal for this kind of escapism? Is it still normal for me to express, not to impress? Or am I weird? Because I feel like I am always an outcast, which sucks, to be completely honest with you.

I literally just had to do my writing to vent out how I feel, to also prevent me from having the most perfect term of how you describe the thing I mentioned above, that is called, a nervous breakdown. Admittedly enough, I almost died that day because of it. All emotions at once is a scary thing to handle.

Literally, out of my 27 years of existence that time, or so I thought, it was my first time experiencing that extreme nervous breakdown that I clearly thought I might have gotten a stroke because my mouth has deformed while crying so hard.

So welcome to my chaotic life and very chaotic family. We were not like this, not until they retired from both of their jobs. When they retired, that's when it all started crumbling down. I cannot imagine having to repeat that again. I really do not wish for that to happen again.

No life lesson for this chapter, so you could absorb all the information and leave the negativity all behind. I want you to read it but don't claim the energies of this chapter so you'd not be affected to much, especially for the empaths out there!

I don't wish to be blamed for causing trouble into your own families so I just had to warn you to not claim the said energies of this chapter okay? Understood? GOOD!

PERIOD!