LIFE EDUCATION SERIES 1: Person With Disability

CHAPTER FIVE: Living In So Much Fear

Yes, because of how my parents treat me ever since I was a little kid, I now became so fearful of almost anything and everything in this world. I feel afraid to step out of my comfort zone and I literally am traumatized for life.

That is why, I have to just motivate you to be who you are, be what you want to be, always seek discomfort and do the yes theory (The theory itself and the YouTube Channel), because I don't want you to live like me. I don't want you to end up like me.

I don't even want to step outside my house because I have the fear of being bullied, misjudged and mis gendered. That's because that's what my parents do, almost for a living (sarcasm). They misjudge me and believe that I am still a man and also, they misjudge me for being gay. In short, they mis gender me always.

I also got bullied in school multiple times. I might have told the stories already on the TimeLine Series I made, the first book entitled, "Past Self: I miss you!" And if you want a recap, you may read that too for reference.

Then if I get out with my parents, both kids and elderlies really look me from top to bottom like I was a virus to them. They literally look at me with sharp piercing eyes or sometimes those questioning looks. That's what I am tired of and so I just live inside my little bubble, my room.

I cry silently and I have thoughts of un*l*ving myself but I really just shrugged them sometimes. I'm just human so please just understand that my feelings are valid to, just like yours.

Then, I also have the fear of riding escalators because I ran out of balance and almost fell down the escalator when I went with my ex-best friend into the mall and they did not help me too. They just literally looked at me and laughed. That traumatized me too.

And as a result, here we are, still living in so much fear. Without a doubt, I might not recover from all of these fears. I'm scared to even just be who I am due to my parents shushing me off when I start cracking up jokes and spoke when I was a kid.

When a family decision needs to be made, sadly, they also don't let me say anything and don't include me in any of those matters. They just went on with what they think is the right thing to do. Isn't this unfair? Please sound off in the comment section. Thank you.

So for you, reading this chapter, don't live in a life overwhelmed and drowning in so much fear for this is not good at all. Let me experience this for you so you do not have to. Don't let people's words drag you down and make you live in eternal fear. Just keep living your lives to the fullest okay? Please understand that and keep that in mind, heart, body and soul.

I don't need to keep repeating myself over and over again! Just do as I say.

PERIOD!