The Love Of My Life

Chapter 9

Tony's POV

I couldn't take it anymore—watching my wife walk away from me like I was nothing like I didn't matter, like we didn't matter. It tore something loose inside me, something raw and desperate. When she stormed out of the house this time and headed for the car, I stopped to think, and then I followed her. The morning air was cold, biting against my skin, but I barely felt it. I yanked open the car door, and before she could say a word, I grabbed her by the arm—not rough, but firm enough to make my point. "No. Not this time, Maya. You're not going anywhere." I said, looking at her in her eyes, She fought me, of course she did. "Tony, let me go!" Her voice was sharp, laced with anger, but I held on, my grip unrelenting. I pulled her out of the car and guided her back toward the house, my heart hammering in my chest. Once we were inside, I let her go, stepping back just enough to face her head-on. My hands were trembling, but I clenched them into fists at my sides to steady myself. "You're not running away from this!" I said, my voice rising. "You're not running away from me! Not again!"

Her eyes flared with fury, her chest heaving as she stood there, glaring at me. "Who the hell do you think you are, Tony? Do you think you can just drag me back like this? You think you can force me to stay?" she said, yelling,  "I'm your husband!" I shouted back. "I'm the man who's been standing by you, trying to help you, trying to figure out how the hell to fix this! But you won't even let me in! You keep shutting me out, walking away, acting like I'm the enemy!" I said, tears starting to come in my eyes, "I'm not shutting you out!" she snapped, her voice breaking under the weight of her own emotions. "You just don't get it! You don't get me! You never have!"

"Maya! Be fuckin serious, I know you; I know every inch of you, I have known you for the 26 years we were married, PLUS some!" I shot back, my voice cracking now, too. "I'm trying, Maya! God knows I'm trying! But I can't do it if you keep walking away!" The room felt heavy, the silence between us suffocating as our words hung in the air. She stared at me, her eyes glossy, her lips trembling, and for a moment, I thought I saw something crack—just a sliver of the wall she'd built around herself. But then she looked away, crossing her arms over her chest, her jaw tightening. "You don't understand, Tony. You never will." And just like that, I felt it—the helplessness crashing back over me, threatening to drown me. But this time, I didn't let it. Not completely. I wasn't giving up. Not on her. Not on us. I took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm raging inside me. "Then help me understand, Maya. Tell me what's going on in your head. Stop shutting me out and talk to me!"

She scoffed, shaking her head, but I could see her defenses cracking. "It's not that easy, Tony. Do you think I can just... say it? Just open up, and everything will be fine. You don't know what it's like to feel like this." she said, crying, "Then explain it to me!" I begged, my voice softer now but still desperate. "I'm not asking for perfect answers, Maya. I'm asking for you. I'm here, standing in front of you, willing to take it all—your anger, your pain, whatever it is. Just stop walking away like I don't exist!" I semi yelled.  Her face twisted in frustration, and for a second, I thought she might lash out again, but then her shoulders slumped. She ran a hand through her hair, and her voice cracked as she said, "You want the truth, Tony? Fine. I feel like I'm falling apart. Every second of every day, I'm barely holding on, and I don't want to drag you down with me. That's why I walk away. That's why I don't talk. Because if I do... I'm scared I'll break, and you'll look at me like I'm some... burden."

I felt like the air had been knocked out of me. "Baby..." My voice was barely a whisper, thick with emotion. I stepped closer, but I didn't touch her, afraid she might retreat again. "You could never be a burden to me. Don't you get that? You're my wife. You're my everything. If you're breaking, then let me help hold you together. That's what I'm here for." I said with tears rolling down my face.  She looked up at me, tears welling in her eyes. "You say that now, but what happens when you get tired of picking up my pieces? What happens when it's too much?" she finished. "I won't get tired," I said firmly. I didn't marry you for the easy days, baby. I married you for all of it. The good, the bad, the messy parts you're so scared to show me. I'm not going anywhere." Her chin trembled as the first tear slipped down her cheek. She looked at me like she didn't believe me like she wanted to but couldn't. "You don't know what you're signing up for," she whispered.