POV DYLAN ROSSI (during Isabella's surgery):
I can take this anymore. I stand up from the plastic chair and walk out of the MedBay. The cool air hits my face and I shiver. I look up at the dark sky and sigh. I feel so, so tired. Tired of everything, tired of getting up everyday, going to school, tired of eating, tired of breathing, tired of living. I close my eyes and try to push the bad thoughts away but I can't seem to shake them. I sigh again, I need to do it, I know I shouldn't but I have to, it's the only thing that makes it all better.
I walk the perimeter of the MedBay, until I'm at the back. It's full of overgrown vegetation on this side. I sit down cross legged amidst some bushes and rummage through my pockets taking out four things: my knife, bandages, cigarettes and lighter. I take out one of the cigarettes and put it to my mouth, I flick the lighter on and near it to the cigarette, waiting a few seconds to assure that it's lit. I take a big drag and let out the smoke slowly and I do so another two times before balancing the lit cigarette on a rock I found. I roll up my hoodie sleeves and reach for the knife. I place it on my wrist and drag it slowly across my skin pressing down hard. I exhale slowly as the pain creeps through my arm, numbing every bad thought. I examine my work, the cut is around 3 centimeters long and pretty deep, blood flows down my arm. I pick the lighter up again and use it to heat up the knife's blade. I lower the blade on the cut and press it down flatly. I whimper as the red hot searing pain consumes me, I hear my skin sizzle and my vision clouds. Lastly I use my knife to collect all my blood onto its blade and clean it on the earth. I hear footsteps, I quickly pull down my hoodie sleeves, put the knife in my pocket and stand up pulling out my gun.
"Don't fucking move" I order to the figure approaching me.
"Put the gun down Dylan, it's me" Alex says. Shittt. That's almost worse!
"Fuck!" I stomp on the cigarette and use my heel to dig it into the ground. I tuck my gun behind me and rub a hand over my face.
"Are you ok?" he asks putting a hand on my shoulder pulling me towards him "Why the fuck were you smoking? You don't smoke! You know how bad it's for you!" he scolds.
I pull away from him. "It's not a habit, it's just a stressful situation." I mean, I'm not lying.
"Give me your cigarettes!" he orders sternly.
"No! They're mine."
"Dylan I will not ask you twice give me your fucking cigarettes!"
"I said no! They're mine, it's my body, I can do what I want with it. Dominic drinks and smokes, why can't I?"
"I don't care what you think you can or can't do, you're still underage so what I say goes. What Dominic does is none of your concern, we will deal with him. Now stop acting like a child and give me your cigarettes!"
"NO! YOUR NOT EVEN MY FUCKING GAURDIAN! ARTHUR IS, YOU CAN'T TELL ME SHIT!" I yell at him, Alex just stands there waiting for me to stop. He then takes his phone out of his pocket and types something in. The line starts ringing before someone picks up.
"Hey Arthur" yeah I'm done for "I'm outside with Dylan. I was just wondering if I had his guardians permission to take away his cigarettes and lighter?"
"HE WAS SMOKING?" My older brother's voice booms across the phone. It really pisses me off when they get mad at me for drinking or smoking once in a while. Dominic does it literally every day. "Pass me to him!" I hear him growl, god I'm fucked. I look pleadingly at Alex but he just shrugs and gives me a 'you-got-yourself-in-this-mess' look and passes me the phone. I put the phone to my ear and immediately regret it since Arthur is yelling. "Dylan I don't know what the fuck got into you but your going to do exactly what Alex says and we're talking about this later. Give him your damn stuff!" I sigh deeply and give the cigarettes and lighter to Alex "we really don't need another problem right now."
It's the last phrase that makes me tense up 'another problem' that's what I am, just another problem. I hand the phone back to Alex ignoring the throbbing pain in my arm. He pulls me into a hug, my body goes rigid, I'm not really used to being hugged, especially not by my brother. Eventually Alex lets me go and with a hand on my shoulder marches me back into the MedBay. I can feel all my brothers eyes boring into my head but I stare at the floor wishing they would leave me alone.
I go to sit down in my seat as I rest my head on the wall behind me, closing my eyes. I didn't know how tired I was, but nowadays everything makes me tired. I wish I could stay in bed all day, doing nothing. Someone is shaking me awake, my eyes fling open and my hand instinctively reaches for my gun. "Dylan come on let's go, I'm taking you guys home, there's no point in us staying here, the surgery is still going to take a couple of hours. You are exhausted, come on." Enzo says. I groan and rub my hand over my face before standing up. Dominic, Nick and Eli follow. From the expression on Arthur's and Ezra's face they must've fought on if the latter should have come home with us or not. As we make our way to the car I glance at Dominic but he just looks away, so I stare at the floor instead. "Nick, take Dylan and Elijah with you and use your car. I need to talk with Dom" Enzo orders. We change direction and head to Nick's dark red Audi RS 7. Eli calls shotgun and I gladly sit in the back, staring out of the window, watching the cars drive by in the early morning hours. I swear LA is always busy.
The car jolts to a stop, I guess I zoned out staring at a speck on the window, I shake my head and get out of the car. I step out of the car and wait for Nick to open the front door, since Enzo and Dominic aren't back yet. Tears well up in my eyes for no reason, so I glance up at the sky to prevent them from falling. Nick finally manages to find the right keys and opens the door letting us in. I don't bother saying anything to my brothers and just walk up the stairs to my room. I grab my airpods and retrieve my phone from my pants back pocket.
(Can I just take a moment today, why the hell do girls pants not have practical pockets, wtf are they supposed to do with their phone? If they put it in their pockets it falls out, no wonder they spend money on bags and purses. Also I wanted to point that 'to bother' is written very similarly to 'brother' they are almost the same word, no wonder little brothers and sisters can be so annoying. )
I go on Spotify and click on 'Sweater Weather' , put my airpods in and lie down on the floor staring up at the ceiling, one hand on my chest. The ceiling is a shade of gray since different shadows litter it. I look down at my watch, 7.36, fucking great. I refuse to go to school today. I doubt they'll make me go anyways.
The songs draw on, I barely listen, tears roll down my face, the lighting in my room changes as the day passes, I know I should be doing stuff but I can't bring myself to get up, I feel paralyzed to this spot on the floor. After a while I can't take it anymore and shut my eyes.
YOU ARE READING
Saving Isabella
Fiksi RemajaIsabella's life has been anything but easy. At 14, she's already endured more than most. Her mother and her mother's boyfriend, Jack, were both controlling and abusive, leaving Isa to navigate the scars of their manipulation. Her mother always told...
