since our eyes first met - Minsung

챕터panic

Minho's POV:

I hugged Jieun goodbye before we went our separate ways.

The day was a good one. I bought gifts for every member of my family, with Jieun's help. She's really one of the best shopping companions and a good listener. Maybe that was why I felt like I could tell her how I felt about Jisung. I still didn't understand why I told her that, but it felt right, and I had the feeling I could trust her with it.

I was walking towards the spot where a driver was supposed to take me home. The car was parked near the mall, and as I walked on the sidewalk beside it, I could hear the crunching of snow under my feet and enjoyed the feeling of the cold snow on my face.

As soon as I sat in the backseat and the driver started heading toward the dorm, I opened my phone and saw that I had five missed calls from Jisung, three missed calls from Chan, and one missed call from Hyunjin.

I wondered why I had so many missed calls and pressed the call button for Jisung's number. It rang and rang, but no one picked up.

I called Hyunjin, and after two minutes, he finally picked up. I asked, »Hey Hyunjinnie, why did you call me?«

I heard some noise in the background, and Hyunjin answered, »Oh, Hyung, it's because of—« but someone cut him off. I heard Chan in the background saying, »Hey, is that Minho? Hyunjin, give that to me.«

Chan sounded a bit stressed. »Why aren't you answering our calls? Where were you? Come home now!«

»What happened?« I asked, not understanding what was going on. »Why was Jisung calling me so often?«

»Just come back as soon as possible, we need to talk,« Chan answered, then hung up.

I stared at my phone for a moment, the conversation with Chan leaving me more confused than before. Something didn't feel right. Jisung's frequent calls, Chan's urgency—it was all a little unsettling. My stomach tightened as I glanced out the window, trying to shake off the growing unease that settled over me.

I didn't waste time. I texted my driver to take a faster route and leaned back in my seat, trying to calm my mind. But I couldn't. I kept replaying the conversation over and over in my head, wondering what could be so important that they needed to talk to me right away. What was going on?

The car swerved slightly as we hit a bump in the road, and I couldn't help but feel that the tension in the air was heavier than the winter chill outside. My fingers hovered over the phone again, but I didn't call anyone back. I couldn't shake the feeling that whatever was going on, they'd tell me when I got there. But my heart still raced.

Minutes later, the familiar sight of our dorm building came into view, and the feeling of dread only intensified. I could see the shadows of some of the members through the windows, moving around anxiously.

The car came to a stop, and before the driver could even open the door, I was already stepping out, barely waiting for him to park. I rushed inside, the warmth of the building not doing much to ease the tension in my chest.

Hyunjin was standing in the hallway when I entered, his face drawn and worried. His usual calm demeanor was nowhere to be found. I didn't need to ask. I could already tell something was wrong.

»Minho...« he started, his voice quiet, and then he looked past me, waiting for the others to come into view.

Chan was pacing in the living room, his hands in his pockets, a frown etched deep on his face. And then there was Jisung, sitting on the couch, his head buried in his hands. His shoulders were shaking, as though he was trying to hold it together, but failing.

My heart sank as I slowly walked toward him, the confusion growing.

»Jisung?« I asked, my voice barely a whisper. »What's going on?«

Jisung didn't respond right away. He just shook his head, his hands covering his face even more. It looked a bit like he had a panic attack but the panic attacks he had before weren't that bad.

Chan stepped forward then, his voice low but firm. »Minho, we need to talk. It's about Jisung.«

Chan took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto mine. There was an edge to his voice that I had never heard before. »I need you to listen carefully, okay? What happened today was serious. Jisung—he... he had a panic attack earlier. And it wasn't just any panic attack. It was really bad.«

I looked at Jisung, who still hadn't looked up from his hands, his body shaking slightly. It was clear that something had really rattled him. My stomach twisted, but I stayed silent, waiting for Chan to explain.

»He called you first,« Chan continued, pacing again as if trying to collect his thoughts. »But you didn't pick up. So Jisung... he was alone. He was at home by himself, feeling like he was suffocating. And no one was there.«

I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I knew how awful it could feel to be alone during a panic attack, to feel like you were trapped in your own body with no escape. But hearing that Jisung had been in that state without anyone there made me feel helpless.

»Hyunjin came home later,« Chan went on, his voice growing firmer with each word. »He found Jisung already in the middle of it, and Jisung was barely able to function, to even speak. That's when he called me. And that's when I came back.«

I glanced at Jisung again. He was still hunched over, his breaths shallow and quick. My heart hurt for him, for what he must have gone through.

Chan's eyes were serious now, locking onto mine with intensity. »Minho, this is what I need you to understand. Jisung was reaching out to you, and you didn't answer. I get it, sometimes we're busy, but you have to be more aware of that. Especially when he's home alone. He relies on us, and today he really needed you. We can't afford to have moments like this again.«

I felt a wave of guilt crash over me. I had been so focused on my own thoughts, on my own day, that I hadn't even checked my phone. And Jisung was suffering, alone, and I had missed it.

»I—I'm sorry,« I murmured, my voice barely a whisper. »I didn't know. I didn't realize... I—«

Chan shook his head. »I know, Minho. It's not about blame. But we need to do better. Jisung shouldn't have been in that position. We shouldn't have let him be.«

I looked at Jisung again, my throat tight. »Jisung, I'm so sorry,« I said softly, kneeling down beside him. He still didn't respond, but his shoulders seemed to relax just a little as I placed a hand gently on his back.

Chan sighed and then added, »From now on, make sure you check your phone when you see Jisung calling, especially when he's home alone. You have to be there for him. It's not just about being friends; it's about keeping each other safe. We all need to look out for one another, especially when things like this happen.«

Jisung finally looked up, his face pale, his eyes red from tears. »I... I didn't want to worry anyone. I just... I couldn't breathe, Minho,« he whispered, his voice raw.

I nodded, my heart aching for him. »You don't ever have to go through this alone, Jisung. I'm here. We're all here.«

He gave a small, shaky nod, and I could see the relief in his eyes. But I knew this wasn't over. We still had to figure out how to better support each other, how to be there when it mattered the most.

Chan stepped back, his tone softening. »We'll talk more about this, but for now, just make sure you're okay, Jisung.«

Jisung gave another weak nod, and for the first time, I saw a small hint of a smile. It wasn't much, but it was something.

»Thanks, Minho,« he whispered, his voice quieter now, but the gratitude was clear in his eyes.

And as I sat there beside him, my thoughts drifted back to the missed calls, to the times when I hadn't been there when he needed me most. I promised myself that I wouldn't let that happen again.

This is not the happiest chapter and to be honest... I don't like it at all...
StrayKids is giving a fucking concert in my country but my mother said she won't drive there😭😭
the price is okay but the way is the problem😭
Yeah but still I hobe you like this story. 1451 words btw (u‿ฺu🌺)